The secret to attracting more respect to yourself and from others is to show respect for yourself.
Like trust it is earned, built over time and sadly can be lost in an instant and would take back work to be built again.
Not giving value, disrespecting others, or trying to manipulate your way to more respect all lead to no respect for yourself.
It is both dynamic and reciprocal. People give you respect first from the value they can perceive you possess then it increases with how much more value you give.
Why is it important to show yourself respect?
The point is the most important respect you need is the one you give to yourself. Because it naturally attracts respect from others and keeps you grounded from the fleeting nature of that others give you.
It’s not dependent on your smile, how much you earn, the kind of car you drive but you valuing yourself.
10 ways to have more Self-Respect
1: Set boundaries
Respect your boundaries.
Know your limits and stick to them. Don’t let others take advantage of you.
Boundaries help us decide how we want to be treated and what we’re willing to accept. I’ve never known anyone that I thought had some respect for themselves that never had boundaries.
When you’re a “Yes-man,” you’ll notice you’ve resist boundaries for the longest time because they go against the core of your values.
But the minute you say NO to the things, people or circumstances that no longer serve you….You’re saying YES to all the magic that does .
2: Respect others
Saying you respect yourself without having respect for others is backwards.
Treat others with the level of respect you desire for yourself. Its starts with respecting other people’s point of view.
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
3: Invest in your Personal Growth
I’ve seen supposedly “respectable” people being treated as trash when they experience Ego-clashes with people that give no f**k no more to any title or even age.
This happens when we prioritize Ego over our personal growth. Fact is most people that pamper your ego are doing so out of a hidden motivation to get something out of you or are afraid not to hurt your feelings.
Always be honest with yourself and stay true to your values and beliefs.
4: Take care of yourself
Prioritize your own wellbeing.
Take care of yourself: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
This shows how much you value and respect yourself.
How do you take care of yourself?
- Taking care of your body: Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and find ways to relax and de-stress.-
- Taking care of your mind
- Taking care of your soul.
People would put with you excesses until they notice you can’t take care of yourself.
5: Prioritize Your Time:
We respect the things we value by giving them our time. So give yourself the same respect and triage your time to make sure you’re spending it on the things and people that matter most to you.
Start showing respect for yourself by making effort to value your time then you can make better decisions with your life.
See your time as something you can invest and can bring bountiful results when properly invested.
If you want people to respect your time – then treat your time with respect.
You have the right to protect yourself from anyone that doesn’t value your time or
6: Never appear desperate
How do you feel every time you chase people?:
Stop doing these little things that show you don’t have respect for yourself:-
- Going where you’re not welcome
- Calling someone more than twice at a time even when its not an an emergency
- Double texting and sending more messages without getting a single reply.
- You get ignored for hours and answer in seconds?
Realize that almost anything you think you can’t do without – you can live without. Be it a relationship, sale or experience.
You must first love and respect yourself before you can expect anyone else to do the same.
7: Choose your association
This applies both physically and online spaces.
Surround yourself with the right people.
People associate with you for a reason – and it reflects also on how they see themselves.
Russell Brunson in the book “Expert Secrets” (aff) talked about how majority of what we do is all primarily for status. If you want to show respect for yourself and your values – be conscious of the kind of people you associate with.
8: Keep promises you say to yourself
Decide today to do what you say you’re going to do. So you decide to sleep at a particular time everyday – but you find yourself staying up late and keeping an irregular sleep schedule.
You decide to quit a bad habit especially in your 20s – but you keep slipping every two days or so. How much does this say on the respect you have for yourself?
It’s not magic. But when you remind yourself how much you respect and value yourself – things start shifting in your favour.
9: Stop trying to impress others
When my dad sent me to learn a hand-skill part time at 18 from a local computer store.
Each time, i completed an assignment, my boss would ask me “are you proud of this thing you’ve done?”
He always said this before he could make any judgment. I didn’t see any value in that question then. But it makes sense now.
You let go of worrying and making an impression when you stop trying to impress people. Then you can direct all that energy toward improving and understanding yourself better.
It’s more difficult to earn respect for yourself in your own eyes after losing it. People pleasing get you liked while you easily lose respect for yourself.
Its why people cheat, steal and get dishonest the most for others validation.
10: Be Kind to yourself
Remember, the way you treat yourself set standards for yourself. Respect and value yourself by choosing thoughts and activities that make you feel good:
Get to know yourself, love yourself and accept yourself.
Be patient with yourself because progress takes time, so be patient and trust the process.
Don’t dwell on past mistakes and never let them define you.
If you want to be fit for life, you don’t just go to the gym and eat healthy for a month, do you?
You do it for life.
The mental shift to regain self-respect is a game changer, and it doesn’t stick permanently without constant and never-ending effort.
Same with having respect for yourself and pivoting to the life you want.
You have to build the muscle and maintain the muscle.
Focus on your successes, recognize your advancements, and celebrate your progress to improve your self-respect.