Have you ever felt so isolated and alone despite having some people who understand?
Sometimes we wonder whether its normal to feel left out by people. Even those you thought were your friends … you feel like everyone has forgotten you.
Several things can cause this feeling of isolation:
Sometimes it’s as a result of emotional trauma from childhood that makes one get their defense all up in the presence of people. Genetics can also play a bigger role which can make one feel different and never fit-in wherever they find themselves.
Other times, its just we reacting to circumstances. Whatever the case?
What can you do to prevent and resolve feeling isolated and alone?
1: Join a local club or group
Meet new people and make friends who share your interests.
No matter how weird you think you are – there’s always a local community or these days online community for such where you can meet new people and make friends who share your interests.
NotePD is an example of a good community for sharing your ideas. Other great places are specific Facebook groups for a particular niche e.g. Introverts.
2: Give or Volunteer often
Giving back to your community can help you feel connected to something larger than yourself and can give you a sense of purpose.
Doing volunteer work is a great way to give back to your community and make yourself feel good at the same time. It’s also a great opportunity to meet new people.
There’re a few people I’ve helped in one way or the other and every time they see me or talk with me – they make me feel so special.
Sometimes some have asked me individually – “why were you so good to me.” And to tease them and wave it off, I tell them “I’m good to anyone close to me.”
The point is giving makes you attractive and builds connection. Give and you can put smiles on other’s faces. They’ll hardly forget you. Life would mean more fun for everyone.
3: Take classes or participate in online forums
Learning new things or joining conversations about topics that interest you can help stimulate your mind and give you something to look forward to.
I know nothing today about most sports but I can share knowledge on Entrepreneurship, various marketing interests and writing online as a hobby.
This is a way I can share ideas with people even in real life.
4: Spend time with family and close friends
Although it may be difficult at times, spending time with people who care about you can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
I’ve always felt success in life starts with success in your family. Take the time to make peace with your family and life would go smoother for you.
After all the cheers or hurdles outside, whom would you return to when you get home? Its your family.
If your friends decide to dump or ghost you – who can you at any time share your time with – for most people is family. So take the time and invest in your relationship with your family.
5: Pick up your faith
Without faith in a higher power, it may be harder for you to feel reconnected to the world again.
Faith in something bigger than you, for me its God as a Christian, is one way I can instantly feel that connection to Him and the world again.
6: Read books
To be honest, it wasn’t until I started reading books as a habit, that i started seeing problems as “normal” and something people overcome to move forward in life.
You’re never alone when you have books. Think of Biographies, Autobiographies, novels based on true life story are excellent in portraying this feeling.
Most of us grew up reading other people’s stories and wish one day someone would write about us. Aim to solve problems then you can have a life that is worthy to have a story written about.
7: Spend time in nature
When was the last time you sat down in non-stimulating environment and just admired the wonderful structures and creations that exist without man’s input.
Thinking of where you can go to sit and be alone in nature? In fact, right now – I’m sitting facing my window writing this and staring at the full moon in the sky. What do you think is in my mind?
It’s a glorious feeling watching something beautiful that provides light in the dark and yet is shared by millions all over the world.
8: Get a pet
Do you live in an isolated world except for your pet?
Not everyone has a pet.
But pets can provide companionship and unconditional love. They can also help you get out of the house more often to take them for walks or to the park.
9: Develop Gratitude
Gratitude is an antidote to anger, entitlement and negative self-talk while alone. Don’t just wait for the moments you start speaking ill of yourself to count your blessings.
Be proactive about it. When you wake up, before you sleep, during the most difficult moments – instead of letting your mind move on autopilot and sometimes wander into thoughts that make you feel hopeless or least motivated – think of a minimum of 3 things you’re grateful for at that instant.
They don’t have to be big things that you think are worth being grateful for, start with small things. Do it on a daily basis.
It was only last year – I left where I had grown up in. And I can tell you – being intentional and less judgemental when you travel to a different culture you’re used to would teach you how more connected we are as humans than different.
Few things that I see unites the world; we communicate with a common language in any particular location, build families and raise kids, eat and make merry, pray and reconnect with a higher power etc. These are beyond coincidence to tell you how connected we are.
11: Bonus point: Find a Hobby
Interesting hobbies are a great past time and stress reliever. Most hobbies make you use your left and right brain simultaneously so you create some neural pathways that may have never developed otherwise.
Engage in hobbies you enjoy, and build routines and habits to simplify your life e.g. morning routines, evening routines. E.g:
- Learn to play the guitar or piano
- Write stories, poems, songs, idea lists,
- Make art
- Learn to code. Etc.
- Work out
- Cook for yourself or others.
It takes being proactive to stop feeling alone and isolated. Start practicing one or more of the tips mentioned above and let me know how you feel.
I got attracted to tech from an early age getting close to my Father. Coupled with learning some high end skills i was able to build a 6 figure Ecommerce store a few years ago after graduating from Pharmacy.
The only way I have found to express myself as an introvert is through writing.
I’m convinced 100% that to build a 6-7-figure business and beyond you need to invest in yourself and your personal development.
The more you grow, the more your business will grow.
PS: I wrote a short book on why you don’t need more motivation and how to push through in such moments – get it here: