Have you given up on finding someone despite years of trying and numerous unsuccessful relationships?
Love is one of the most beautiful things in the world. But sometimes it seems so far away.
It can be difficult to maintain hope when it seems like love is so far away.
Sometimes, it may feel like you will never find the right person or that you are not good enough.
We tend to do stupid things when we crave for intimacy and that we end up regretting.
However, it is important to remember that everyone is unique and that there is someone out there who will love you for who you are even if not romantically.
Sometimes you find love when you’re not looking for it. For some, they found love so easily – holding unto a partner for long or jumping into several relationships.
But for some others – love tends to always appear so far away:
It’s either you’re parting ways sooner after you meet because it’s just the wrong timing or the interest keeps fading away after a short while.
Funny enough, this post is published today, Valentine’s day. Love is really all that matters because everyone comes into this world with nothing other than love and leaves with nothing other than love.
9 Mindset Shifts to Help You Stay Optimistic While Looking for Love
1: Love yourself
Are you in love with the person you look into the mirror every single day?
True love with another starts with being kind to yourself because at the end of the day, your success in the outside world is a reflection of your success on the inside.
A friend once wrote this:
Only when I become aware of who I was, only when I learned to love myself and have a relationship with me, did I start to appreciate what I had, I was able to remove expectations, stop judging and stop comparing myself to others.
2: Practice Love
Show love to everyone you come across. Especially to those in need.
Not to boast but just to state how easy it is to think of only yourself these days:
When people you meet on the street ask for help; its easy to make excuses and walk past them.
But the most joy and reward comes when we help those we don’t expect nothing from.
When you love someone who doesn’t love you back, it can be difficult to move on.
Sometimes it feels like the only thing you can do is wait for them to change their mind. Its called unrequited love.
Don’t forget to love those that really love you. If you’re lost, start with people you feel love you unconditionally e.g. parents and siblings.
3: Do things that make you happy
When you’re feeling down, do things that make you happy. Spend time with your friends, go for walks, watch your favorite movie, etc.
Don’t lose yourself chasing after things you have no control of.
Do things that love you back.
Some examples of things that love you back:
- Eating nutritious foods
- Pursuing your passions/purpose/dharma
- Focus on yourself: This is a good time to focus on your own happiness.
Do things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself.
4: Let go of your past
It could be a divorce, betrayal, abusive relationship or not just finding the right partner that’s holding you back.
The key is to let go of your past and pursue new goals.
Only then can you discover yourself again and find happiness, fulfillment, and self-love again.
Sometimes the person you love just isn’t a good match for you. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you, it just means that you’re not compatible.
It’s not you, it’s them.
5: Engage in more experiences
Isolating yourself most likely isn’t going to help you find love.
Engage in more Experiences in good places and events that can increase your chances of meeting beautiful people.
6: Ditch Infatuations and only seeking pleasure
Love is not Infatuations.
Watching strangers get intimate for the sake of pleasure would not help any matters either.
Writing can be therapeutic.
Write down all of your thoughts and emotions.
You may be able to see things more clearly after doing this.
8: Don’t give up on love
People you love at times are going to mess up.
You are too, perhaps even more.
A good relationship involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.It’s never too late to find love again at whatever situation you find yourself.
Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to. It doesn’t mean that you’re not meant to be together, it just means that it wasn’t meant to be.
There’s someone out there who will love you for who you are.
9: Let love find you
Have you noticed sometimes when you stop chasing things they become attracted to you?
At those moments, the best way to find love is to let love find you.
Here’s how Charissa Enget put it in a quora post:
I think when you stop looking for love, you set your life in the direction you want. Then, those who are moving in the same direction see where you’re headed and want to join you. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by those with the same goals and ambitions as you, and opportunities for love surround you. When you stop looking for love, you’re not afraid to be alone. You’re sure of who you are and people can sense that. What you see is what you get. There’s no facade. Those who fall in love with you are going to fall for the real you.
No one is born believing that they are unlovable. It can be difficult to keep your faith in love when it seems so far away.
Sometimes, it may feel like love is never going to happen for you.
However, it is important to remember that love is out there and that you just have to be patient.
Bob Marley was once asked if there was a perfect woman. He replied:
Who cares about perfection? Even the moon is not perfect, it is full of craters. The sea is incredibly beautiful, but salty and dark in the depths. The sky is always infinite, but often cloudy. So, everything that is beautiful isn’t perfect, it’s special. Therefore, every woman can be special to someone. Stop being “perfect”, but try to be free and live, doing what you love, not wanting to impress others!
Choose love every chance you can.