It simply means making an effort to understand someone else by seeing things from their perspective.
It involves listening with an open mind, asking questions, and sometimes being willing to compromise.
I discovered that one of the biggest problems that kills both personal and work relationships is insensitivity to other people’s needs. It applies to Clients, friends and family relationships.
First, we’re not responsible for anybody’s emotional needs or how they respond to events.
But we’re responsible for our perception of them.- the kind of words we use on others, both on their presence and their absence, our response towards them especially when they give us feedback.
Allowing yourself to be sensitive – to feel deeply and empathize with others is the key to a happy, healthy and loving relationship.
1: Be a good listener
Give the other person your full attention when they are talking to you, and resist the urge to interrupt or offer unsolicited advice.
People give you early signs and indications of what they prefer from your initial conversations.
When you speak more than you listen – this denies them the psychological air they need to let you know of any more concerns.
With time you pick little or nothing from people’s words since they know you don’t listen – they’ll tell you only what you want to hear and hide the truth from you.
2: Be more understanding
Make an effort to see things from the other person’s perspective and try to empathize with their feelings.
An example is the love language – Gary Chapman mentions in the “5 Love language” how so many couples have found they were unintentionally ignoring their partner’s needs by the fact that they didn’t know their love language.
What if my “fancy” gifts mean nothing to you? But a moment spent with you is like worth a million bucks to you.
You never can tell …until you’re interested and are willing to show understanding to others.
3: Avoid making assumptions
You can be the best listener on earth and still make this mistake:
Jumping to conclusions without gathering facts is like a physician who treats people without doing proper clinical and laboratory investigations.
Don’t jump to conclusions about what the other person is thinking or feeling; ask them directly instead.
Every situation is unique and there’s something that can be learned from each circumstance.
4: Never Gaslight people’s concerns
I can remember laughing when a roommate back then in school was telling me he had “anger issues.”
Honestly, it was the same way i thought of myself, but he was damn serious. And I gaslighted the whole situation and it made us never understand each other.
Looking down on their concerns or questioning everything they say is the easy way out to dismissing problems instead of solving them.
The “little” thing you might be ignoring or putting away in your relationship with others might be what really matters to them.
5: Offer support
Let the other person know that you are there for them if they need someone to talk to or lean on.
Make a list of the people in your life whose needs you feel closest to, and check in with them regularly to see how they’re doing and what they need from you.
6: Learn to read people’s body language
People naturally change their body’s tone and language with regards to how they feel.
When people are excited about something they tend to sit or stand more alert, open their bodies and use friendly tones and facial expressions.
When they’re not – it’s the opposite. Ignoring people’s body languages whether they’re superior or in an inferior position to you, is not wisdom.
7: Respect other people’s rules and boundaries
Everyone has boundaries. It just matters whether they’re aware of it and enforce it or not.
Most times, people wait for you to step on their boundaries before they change towards you.
The key to being a more caring and sensitive person is to respect their boundaries and also abide by yours.
8: Judge less
Judging people is the fastest way to learn nothing from them and dismiss healthy relationships with others.
I used to think people that spend a lot had the most money and hence were the best to work with as clients – but it turns out false.
The richest people don’t have the habit of spending to flex and you may never know them until you get close.
See more: How to stop judging others
9: Love people
In the world today – its easy to find people who love things and use people instead of loving people and using things.
This makes it hard for them to ever be sensitive to other people’s needs.
Why because they’re thinking about – me! me!! me!!!So they’re looking for the most fun activity and toy to acquire irrespective of how many people get crushed in the process.
Love people and when you see them in trouble, brainstorm ways that you can meet those needs if you can.
CONCLUSION
Being sensitive to other people’s needs is a sign of emotional intelligence and can help improve your relationships and associations with others.
I must say this is not easy, especially in real-life scenarios like relationships, breakups, and firing staff. I personally experienced third-party interference where I was not given a chance to speak, so I never felt seen or heard. And guess what? I was out for revenge.
But the fact remains: We gain nothing by being apathetic and only thinking of our own needs.
I got attracted to tech from an early age getting close to my Father. Coupled with learning some high end skills i was able to build a 6 figure Ecommerce store a few years ago after graduating from Pharmacy.
The only way I have found to express myself as an introvert is through writing.
I’m convinced 100% that to build a 6-7-figure business and beyond you need to invest in yourself and your personal development.
The more you grow, the more your business will grow.
PS: I wrote a short book on why you don’t need more motivation and how to push through in such moments – get it here:
I like how you mentioned about not making assumptions, I really believe that is important in terms of being more sensitive to other people’s needs. Making assumptions can lead to more damage to the relationship with that person. A great post! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk