How do you set and manage expectations? To what extent is it possible to manage expectations especially from yourself?

Our expectations for ourselves can push us to higher success or be our biggest trap.

It’s ONE of the biggest differences in the mindset between successful and unsuccessful people. And also how happy or unhappy one finds their selves at any particular point in time.

I still struggle with managing my expectations especially to myself.

7 ways to manage your Self-expectations

1: Do some Self-Assessment

Self-Assess yourself by asking yourself why you want something.

Simon Sinek wrote a powerful book that changed my thinking forever – “Start with why.”

Why self examination is important?

Without leading with why – we become slaves and victims to our expectations.

They control us for no reason. This would help you know the real reason you hold a certain expectation and what it means to you.

Are you giving it more value than it holds? You gotta assess yourself to manage your expectations better.

2: Focus on what you have control over

For you to achieve any result – you need to differentiate between the things you have control over and those you don’t.

And the key to being successful and happy while working towards your goal is to focus on the things you have control over.

Focus on what you have control of = success and happiness.

Focus on things you don’t have control over = pain and suffering.

This is key to manage unrealistic expectations.

3: Get your Priorities Right

It’s easy for others to tell you what should go on in your life:

“You’re supposed to have had this degree, get this certain job, marry at a certain age, be this certain height, follow a particular diet, have a particular lifestye, talk a certain way etc.”

But how much of what they say is part of your priorities at that moment. Fact is if you don’t prioritize your life someone else will.

Setting your priorities would help you in managing expectations from others.

This is part of the first point which reminds you to know why you want a particular result. And setting your priorities would help you make sure it is aligned to your highest priorities.

Else don’t be surprised if you’re just aspiring for more emptiness and purposelessness to fulfill others desires instead of aspiring truly for your dreams.

Here’s how my friend, Dan Bagniuk put it in a Facebook post:

People constantly say “I wish I was this” or “I wish I wasn’t that” as if they have no power to change.

No one is telling you that you have to be trapped in a situation that you’re not happy with.

Chances are, you’re limiting yourself and blaming outside forces for it.

We’re all pressured by friends, family, and societal expectations.

But it’s your choice whether we want to be influenced by these pressures.

The beautiful part about being a human is it takes just one decision to start moving in the right direction.

It’s easier said than done.

But if you’re not willing to put in the time and work to improve, then don’t complain about it.

That’s like slashing your own tires and then complaining that you can’t drive because you’re not willing to change the tires.

You have more control over yourself and your future than you think.

4: Set healthy expectations:

Everyone knows we should set BIG goals. But how do we prioritize our wellbeing to be in line with our expectations.

Be realistic in what you expect from yourself and others. This can be hard but it takes grace to set BIG goals and make them sound realistic.

Setting healthy expectations can help you in your expectation gap management – closing it further and keeping you sane when things don’t work out.

You just have to factor in your abilities and limitations while never allowing them hold you back.

If you’re wondering how to set healthy expectations, check out this idea list from James:

5: Learn from past experiences:

Through past experiences we can predict what’s likely to happen or not. But the key is to learn from our mistakes and making sure our expectations are realistic.

Set reasonable expectations for yourself going forward by drawing on your past experiences.

If you’ve made mistakes, take note of them and make an effort not to do so again.

6: Be flexible with your expectations:

Not everything you do would work out as planned.

Sometimes, if you just listen you can learn a lot from the universe. But it happens if only you pay attention.

Don’t be too rigid with your expectations in life even to yourself.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned, so be willing to adjust accordingly.

7: Keep things in perspective:

Say you wanted to sleep eight (8) hours every night. You could control everything from your diet, exercise and supplements yet find yourself sleeping less or more on some days.

The reality is everyday may not give you equal results. Don’t let your self-expectations get too out of hand.

Remember that you’re just one person and there are only so many hours in a day.

8: Practice Gratitude

No matter what expectation you have of yourself – don’t let it deprive you of your joy and happiness in the present.

Be grateful for every moment and be willing to enjoy the process.

You don’t want to get too wrapped up in that final destination. You want to enjoy the journey, enjoy the process, and just take it one step at a time. Carli Lloyd

Manage your expectations in life by practicing gratitude daily.