How to Break the Cycle of Complaining: 7 ways to stop complaining

How can you break the cycle of complaining, why you should stop complaining & what would be its benefits?

Complaining is a habit that can make or break a person.

Most people prefer to complain about problems for days, months and years-plus than face problems head-on or go through difficult conversations aimed at solving them.

While it doesn’t serve us – we love to complain about our pain, friends, spouses, work and everything around us.

7 steps to stop Complaining as a habit

1: Take ownership

Stacking problems on your chest instead of addressing them does not serve anybody.

Neither does getting tired of addressing them and resorting to complaining. It only makes it worse.

When will millennials stop complaining and start taking ownership of their own lives?

Understand that things don’t change until we make effort to. You don’t have to tackle issues right away if you want to take time to be strategic.

But nothing beats constantly making effort to get things right rather than resorting to complaining.

In terms of solving problems – complaining is the weakest way out. And worse, is the sacrifice we undergo when we resort to complaining.

If we don’t take ownership over our life, we can’t control where we’re going.

2: Change your mindset

If you don’t see anything wrong with complaining as a habit – you make it difficult for yourself to ever drop the habit.

Understand that the right mindset to bringing change is to take action, accept those you can’t change and be optimistic about life.

Remember that friend you know to be a talkative and “Complainer.” But unfortunately, he’s the only one that never sees himself that way.

Some people think its a strength – to be known for “seeking for change” through complaining – but we know for a fact it’s a weakness.

What happens if you stop complaining for a month?

Imagine how much happier, thankful and how much you’d have achieved if you stop complaining for at least 21 days.

Tony Robbins wrote something about the benefits in his awesome book, Awaken the Giant within.

Choose today to REFUSE to complain and squander your time because as soon as you complain, you give up ownership.

3: Be patient with others

If you must stop complaining – then you must learn to be patient in life with outcomes and people around you.

When you find your employees outcome is poor compared to what you had expected – do you give up on them?

If you can’t fire them right away resorting to always complaining to people you think have figured it our is a wrong strategy.

Being patient with others is the best way to bring out the best in others and help them get the outcome you so desired.

4: Quit gossiping

Would you rather be right, or happy? Is a question to ponder to be happier and stop complaining.

When you leave your office or home to go talk bad about someone else whether physically or virtually through phone, chat etc you only escalate problems.

We forget, what we say about others eventually get to their ears. And how do you think they feel when they learn about the shit you said about them – they get disappointed in you and may want to also get even by also gossiping about you or hurting you in one way or another.

It’s a vicious cycle that doesn’t pay either party.

5: Take necessary action

While it’s important to analyse the reasons why you’re confronted with a specific problem, it’s just as important to find solutions to it.

We have two choices when things become difficult. Keep complaining and staying stuck in the same never-ending loop from hell consuming us from the inside or jump on “new and harder challenges” to not only help ourselves but also others.

People often express their desires for things to be in certain ways, as though they have no control over their circumstances. No one is telling you that you have to be trapped in a situation that you’re not happy with.

Complaining makes you limit yourself and attribute the problem to other factors.

It just takes one decision to start moving in the correct direction. If you’re reprimanded by an authority, all you need to do is to address the complaints and poor outputs they’ve pointed out.

And they continue to lead by example, start communicating better as a leader and complain less.

If you don’t take action – don’t whine about where you are in life.

6: Embrace Gratitude

Want to know how to be grateful instead of resentful? Turn your complaints into things you’re thankful for.

Appreciate how lucky you are every single day and you’ll attract more opportunities.

There are people facing real problems in life but have zero complaints.

My man, Chad says it right:

“Stop complaining that you have to solve issues. Realize the universe wants to strengthen you. Teach yourself only to bring an issue if you also can provide a potential solution to said problem.

This forces us to look at both sides of the coin. Moreover, to focus on the positive and solution developing side more than the negatives.

You would not be given a problem if you could not find the best solution to the issues at hand!”

The key is to See the positives in every situation, even if it’s hard.

7: Nobody cares about your Complaints

Most times, we make the mistake of thinking we’re “special” or our circumstances are unique.

But the truth is nobody cares how difficult your life is. Your talent means absolutely nothing without consistent effort and practice.

And Your actions speak louder than words, so hold yourself accountable.

So stop complaining about it!

Why you should stop complaining?

  • You become stuck with ideas and resort to giving excuses
  • Poor relationships and with the people we’re complaining about
  • Low level relationships with the people we’re complaining to as such relationships never amount to anything god.
  • Time wasted and poor ownership of our lives.

Here’s a story that happened between me and a friend/co-worker that changed my thinking forever on how to stop the habit of habitually complaining:

He walked up to me and said we needed to talk. He was the younger doctor serving at that time.

I was surprised because I had already been avoiding him of late. Since my boss used him as her confidant so I thought he too couldn’t be trusted.

But he was more concerned about patient health and satisfaction than work or office dramas.

Whenever she thought I was wrong – after laying it out – she looked for the nearest confidant and third party to complain to. And next I was hearing my name from someone else’s mouth.

Instead of addressing the issue head on, I would also look for the nearest listening ear which was a co-worker to whine about my boss and all the people she was talking to behind my back.

First he asked if everything was alright in private. “Is there any challenge you’re dealing with presently?”

He mentioned how he’s noticed I was avoiding confrontation with him. But more importantly the quality of the output I was giving at work. He was hearing and noticing all sorts of things.

Of course, I mentioned the poor quality relationship between me and my boss.

He advised me – “If there’s anything wrong with what she says or do – you can walk up to her and address it like an adult instead of stacking it up in your chest – or you simply take the blame and try to work things out.”

That 30 min conversation was a game-changer and something he did that I’ll forever respect him for instead of complaining.


The person you transform into when you drop the habit of complaining is what matters most.

Don’t complain about life if you aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to get better.

Stop living the same year complaining about how bad life is, how nothing good happens to you, how others are “lucky” to make it and then retire regretting the missed opportunities and how you didn’t have the courage to chase your dreams!

You have more influence over your future and progress.

1 thought on “How to Break the Cycle of Complaining: 7 ways to stop complaining”

  1. Very interesting read. I love that you point out that no one cares about your complaints. Not to say that I do not complain here and there, but I know so many people that complain endlessly and it gets them nowhere. Happiness is a better option!

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