Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Nurturing Your Well-being for a Better Life

In a world that seems to constantly demand more from us, it’s easy to overlook one essential aspect of our lives—self-care. Far too often, we prioritize work, obligations, and the needs of others over our own well-being.

However, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a fundamental necessity for leading a balanced and fulfilling life. In this blog post, we’ll explore the many facets of self-care and why it should be an integral part of our daily routines. Remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s essential. Prioritize your well-being & enjoy a rejuvenating weekend.

Take care of your Mental and physical health

It took me many decades and experiencing several health issues to learn this – you just need to take care of your health both mentally and physically

Mental health matters every day, not just when there’s a crisis. Consistent self-care is crucial. Personal experiences often serve as powerful teachers. Many of us have learned the importance of self-care through years of trial and error.

It often takes a wake-up call in the form of health issues or burnout to make us realize that neglecting self-care can have serious consequences.

For me, it was years of neglecting my mental and physical health that eventually caught up with me. I found myself overwhelmed, stressed, and grappling with various health issues. It was then that I realized that I needed to prioritize self-care. I started by incorporating small, daily practices that made a significant difference in my overall well-being.

The truth is, you don’t have to wait until you’re facing health problems to start taking care of yourself. Self-care should be a proactive choice, not a reactive one. By consistently tending to your mental and physical health, you can prevent many of the issues that may arise from neglect.

It’s self-love so we can share it with others

Self-love is the foundation of self-care. When we love and care for ourselves, we become better equipped to love and care for others. Think of it as the safety instructions on an airplane: you must put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Similarly, you must prioritize self-care to be the best version of yourself for those around you.

When we neglect self-care, we risk burnout and exhaustion, which can lead to frustration, irritability, and a diminished capacity to be there for our loved ones.

On the other hand, when we prioritize self-love and self-care, we radiate positivity and can share that love and care with those who matter most to us.

It’s giving back to ourselves by doing something we love

Self-care isn’t just about checking off a to-do list of self-improvement activities. It’s about doing things that bring you joy and rejuvenation. Whether it’s indulging in a hobby, taking a leisurely walk in nature, or simply enjoying a good book, these activities are a form of giving back to yourself.

By engaging in activities that you genuinely enjoy, you recharge your mental and emotional batteries. This, in turn, allows you to approach your responsibilities and challenges with renewed energy and enthusiasm. In essence, self-care is an investment in your own well-being that pays dividends in your daily life.

It’s right and healthy

Contrary to the misconception that self-care is selfish, it’s actually a sign of self-respect and self-worth. Taking care of yourself is a fundamental right, and it is crucial for maintaining good physical and mental health.

Just as you wouldn’t expect a car to run without regular maintenance, your body and mind require care and attention to function at their best.

Moreover, self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. In a world where the lines between work and personal life are increasingly blurred, self-care serves as a necessary boundary to prevent burnout and maintain a sense of equilibrium.

Kindness and love come first

Self-care is rooted in kindness and love—kindness towards oneself and love for one’s own well-being. It’s about nurturing a positive relationship with yourself, treating yourself with the same compassion you extend to others, and recognizing your intrinsic value.

By practicing self-kindness and self-love, you build a strong foundation for your emotional and mental resilience. When you encounter setbacks or challenges, this foundation helps you navigate them with grace and self-assurance.

It’s a necessity for both men and women

Self-care knows no gender boundaries. It is equally vital for men and women, regardless of age, occupation, or background. Unfortunately, societal expectations and stereotypes have often made men feel as though they should be stoic and suppress their self-care needs.

However, the truth is that everyone, regardless of gender, deserves self-care. Men, in particular, should feel empowered to prioritize their mental and physical well-being without shame or guilt. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to acknowledge your needs and take steps to meet them.

Neglecting self care

Neglecting self-care can have serious negative consequences for an entrepreneur’s career. Here are a few examples:


Working long hours without taking breaks or engage in self-care activities, makes you at risk of experiencing burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, and it can lead to decreased productivity, decreased job satisfaction, and even serious health problems.

Lack of Creativity

Always being in a state of stress or exhaustion can be difficult for you to tap into your creative potential. Creativity requires mental space and a relaxed state of mind, and neglecting self-care can make it more difficult for an entrepreneur to access these states.

Decreased Focus

When you’re overworked and overstressed, it can be difficult for you to maintain focus and concentration. This can lead to decreased productivity and decreased quality of work, which can ultimately harm your career.

Poor Decision-Making:

Neglecting self-care can also lead to poor decision-making, as we’re more likely to make impulsive or rash decisions when we’re under stress. This can you’re your business and your career in the long run.

Health Problems

Finally, neglecting self-care can lead to serious health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and depression. These health problems can limit our ability to work and ultimately our career.

Some tips to implement self care today

  • Unplug and Recharge: After a week of conquering challenges and chasing goals, remember that hitting the pause button isn’t just a luxury – it’s a necessity.
  • Normalize not oversharing: While it may be hard for many who are used to oversharing, relying on the judgment of other people. Being private about personal matters is a form of self-care we should all embrace. Balance matters. Close ones deserve our trust.

  • Normalise cutting off useless friendships:  Removing yourself from spaces where you don’t feel loved, appreciated, or respected is self care. It’s also choosing not to argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. Save yourself from unnecessary troubles.


In conclusion, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a fundamental component of a healthy and fulfilling life. It took me many decades and several health issues to learn this valuable lesson, but I’m grateful for the transformation it has brought to my life. By practicing self-love, giving back to ourselves, recognizing the right to self-care, prioritizing kindness and love, and understanding that it’s a necessity for everyone, we can all lead happier, healthier lives.

So, don’t hesitate to make self-care a priority in your daily routine. Whether it’s a simple act of self-kindness or a more substantial commitment to your mental and physical health, each step you take towards self-care is a step towards a better, more balanced life. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s an act of self-love that benefits not only you but also everyone around you.


10 Self-care habits for a healthy mind

In our fast-paced world, where demands and stressors often take center stage, prioritizing self-care habits is crucial for maintaining a healthy mind and body.

Self-care is not about going to a SPA or taking a three-week luxury holiday every year (even though it could be – it’s more than a spa day). Self-care is something you practice every day. Far from being selfish, self-care is a necessary act of self-love that benefits not only ourselves but also those around us.

Self care is not something we tend to value and do much until we hit rock bottom and realize how important this is. I’ve been there, relationships where I did all the chasing without realizing my worth or ambitions where i put my self last just to get to where i didn’t give a shit about. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the importance of self-care habits and provide a self-care habits checklist, along with examples, to help you nurture a healthier mind.

Self-care habits: The path to a healthier mind and body

Our journey towards understanding the significance of self-care habits often involves learning from experience. I didn’t know the importance of self-care until i experienced burnout. It may take years or even decades, but eventually, the realization dawns that our mental and physical well-being should be paramount.

Consider this: neglecting self-care can lead to a host of health issues, both physical and mental. It may take a health scare or a bout of burnout to make us realize that self-care is not an indulgence; it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation upon which a healthy mind and body are built.

By making self-care a priority, entrepreneurs can avoid burnout, tap into their creative potential, maintain focus and concentration, make better decisions, and avoid serious health problems.

Dominique Sachse hit the nail on the head with a post about self care in the morning:

Carving out just enough time in the am is a beautiful act of self-love. Play your favorite music while you’re at it. It’s a moment of peace and mindfulness in a fast-paced world. As we indulge in this routine, we nurture ourselves with confidence and a sense of value.

Whether simple or elaborate, it’s your expression done your way, a chance to convey your unique style and feel cared for by the one who matters most.. YOU!

Self care happy

Self-care habits examples

To grasp the concept of self-care habits better, let’s explore some practical examples:

  1. Meditation and Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, and it can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and increasing focus.  Taking a few minutes each day to meditate or practice mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve focus, and promote emotional well-being.
  2. Regular Exercise: Many people engage in exercise just for aesthetic reasons but sooner than later they realize the mental benefits also. Engaging in physical activity not only keeps your body fit but also releases endorphins, which can significantly improve your mood.
  3. Healthy Eating: Nourishing your body with a real foods rich in fruits, whole fats including meat/eggs and whole grains can have a positive impact on your mental health. Self care to a large extent involves nurturing your body with good fuel. Running a profitable business starts with making sure you are eating healthy food, resting, and exercising.
  4. Adequate Sleep: Prioritizing quality sleep is crucial for cognitive function and emotional resilience. And the best part of it is how SLEEP can 10X your productivity and your income right now. Having 6 – 8 hours of sleep daily is a form of self care.
  5. Digital Detox: Unplugging from screens and technology for a while can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality.
  6. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and gain clarity.
  7. Setting Boundaries: Learning to say “no” when necessary and setting healthy boundaries can prevent burnout and stress.
  8. Social Connections: Maintaining meaningful relationships and nurturing social connections can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of loneliness.
  9. Hobbies and Creativity: Engaging in hobbies you’re passionate about can be a source of joy and relaxation.
  10. Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and self-compassion, as you would a close friend. Practice positive self-talk as against the default negative self talk.

Self-care needs to be a daily practice…to win, make the commitment to yourself by doing something daily for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

Technology Detox

The one time i needed to get rid of an unhealthy relationship – going off social media for the moment was the easiest way to stop stalking the other party. All i needed was to disconnect to Reconnect.

In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get lost in the constant buzz of notifications and information overload. A technology detox is a crucial self-care practice that involves taking regular breaks from screens and social media to reconnect with yourself and the present moment.

Now most of us especially those in tech owe it to ourselves to spend some time during the day away from technology. By setting aside designated tech-free time, whether it’s a few hours a day or a whole weekend, you can regain focus, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being.

Nature Therapy

Take a stroll in nature. Give yourself a quiet half hour to spend just how you want to, or indulge yourself with a rest and time to think.

Whether it’s going for a hike, practicing yoga outdoors, or simply taking a walk in the park, immersing ourselves in nature can reduce anxiety, boost mood, and provide a much-needed escape from the demands of daily life.

Healing through the Outdoors Spending time in nature has proven benefits for our mental and emotional health.

Creative Expression

Unleashing Your Inner Artist Engaging in creative activities is a powerful form of self-care that allows us to express ourselves and tap into our innate creativity.

Whether it’s painting, writing, playing an instrument, or dancing, finding a creative outlet can provide a sense of joy, fulfillment, and emotional release.

By making time for creative expression, we can nurture our souls and find solace in the beauty of self-discovery.

Gratitude Journaling

Cultivating an Attitude of Appreciation Keeping a gratitude journal is a simple yet impactful practice that can transform our mindset and overall well-being.

Each day, take a few moments to write down three things you’re grateful for. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you shift your perspective and cultivate an attitude of appreciation.

This practice can foster a sense of contentment, reduce stress, and increase feelings of happiness and fulfillment.

Setting Boundaries for Self-Care

One of the most important aspects of self-care is setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by commitments and obligations, often neglecting our own needs in the process.

By practicing assertiveness and respectfully declining requests that don’t align with our priorities or values, we create space for self-care and ensure that our well-being remains a top priority.

Saying no is not selfish; it’s an act of self-preservation and self-respect.

Healthy habits for mind and body

Self-care habits encompass a wide range of practices that benefit both the mind and body. They help create a harmonious balance between your physical and mental well-being.

When you prioritize these habits, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a positive example for those around you.

Habits for a healthy mind

A healthy mind is essential for overall well-being. Here are some self-care habits that specifically contribute to mental health:

  1. Mindful Breathing: Take a few moments to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. This simple practice can calm your mind and reduce stress.
  2. Daily Affirmations: Start your day with positive affirmations that boost your self-esteem and reinforce a healthy mindset.
  3. Gratitude Journal: Regularly write down things you’re grateful for. This practice can shift your perspective and enhance your mood.
  4. Seeking Professional Help: If needed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Taking care of your mental health is a sign of strength.
  5. Limiting Negative Influences: Identify and limit exposure to negative people or situations that affect your mental well-being.

Self-care habits checklist

To help you incorporate self-care habits into your daily life, here’s a self-care habits checklist:

  • ☑ Prioritize regular exercise.
  • ☑ Maintain a balanced diet.
  • ☑ Get enough quality sleep.
  • ☑ Practice mindfulness or meditation.
  • ☑ Set and respect personal boundaries.
  • ☑ Engage in hobbies you love.
  • ☑ Cultivate a support network of friends and loved ones.
  • ☑ Take time for self-reflection and journaling.
  • ☑ Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk.
  • ☑ Seek professional help when needed.


In conclusion, self-care habits are the cornerstones of a healthy mind and body. These habits are far from selfish; they are essential for maintaining your well-being, and they empower you to be the best version of yourself.

Usually when you are self- employed we like to stay up late working on making our dreams reality.  This can lead to eating whatever is available which doesn’t help nourish your body. Also always have water around, hydrating is just as important. So always keep water around in your work space!

By embracing self-care habits, setting an example for others, and following our self-care habits checklist, you can embark on a transformative journey toward a healthier, happier life. Remember, prioritizing self-care is a powerful act of self-love that benefits not only you but also those you care about.



Lifestyle Personal Development

7 Steps to Deal with Anger

Have you felt or wished you could catch a hold of your anger? How do you deal with anger while maintaining self-discipline?

Most people dealing with anger problems think it’s only genetic and part of their character, so they see no need to deal with it.

Anger is part of the stress response we use to communicate dissatisfaction with life events. And it’s important to remember that anger is a secondary emotion.

This means that it’s usually caused by something else, like fear or hurt.

Try to understand what’s really driving your anger before taking it out on someone else. I felt my body boiling … my tone and voice were up and I was almost sweating.

What surprised me was how the person I was engaging in such heated conversation was mirroring the exact body language.

Then it occurred to me: how we have a compelling need to show strength when we are angry, in order for others to perceive us as powerful.

While we can use anger to move towards finding solutions to problems, being in this state for too long will not just affect our health but ruin our interpersonal relationships, from;

  • From poor communication to
  • making regrettable decisions, and even sometimes
  • transferring aggression.

Taking steps to deal with your anger problems can be life-changing.

1: Pause and Breathe

It could just be a count of 5 that could save you from ruining a close relationship or saying something you’ll end up regretting in your home or workplace.

Take a breath & think about how you should react (or if you even should) when you find yourself in a situation that could lead to something not so pleasant in the end, whether it involves just words alone or actual actions.

Take 4 deep breaths and become present in your body. And allow the feeling of anger to rise in your body…allow the physical sensation to flow right through you until it’s gone.

2: Mind the words you use

For me, avoiding insults that can hurt and words like “never,” which make it harder to change my mind.

If possible, say less, especially in the heat of the moment.

3: Walk away

When you’re struggling to tame your tongue when angry – another strategy is to walk away from such heated conversations.

4: Focus on finding a solution to the root problem

Ask yourself, “Why did that get me so angry?”

This takes you out of the state of survival and now allows you to be conscious and present. It allows you to take this event as a lesson to understand your thoughts beliefs and emotions.

The solution could be a third alternative, a compromise, or taking time again to do your homework on a particular problem.

Sometimes the best option is to quit or leave a toxic environment. But don’t settle if you really want to get to the root of any challenge.

I’ve made resolutions like never trying to change anyone or only focusing on things I can control after finding out why people get me angry.

5: Use Anger as Fuel Positively

You become powerful when you learn how to direct your anger. The secret is to channel your rage into something constructive and positive.

Most people only know about the negative side of anger. But the same anger can change people’s life situations remarkably.

Once you’ve acknowledged your anger, find a constructive way to release it. This could be through exercise, journaling, or talking to a friend.

Sometimes angry artists make better art; and you could see it in their writing, music, and art.

Here’s how a friend uses anger during workouts:“

I use anger when I work out because it’s the only time it benefits me and it’s a great stress reliever.”

6: Vent

Don’t suppress your anger.

It’s important to allow yourself to feel anger when it comes up.

Suppressing anger can lead to health problems like high blood pressure.

Since anger can be the result of locked-up emotions finally finding their way out, venting out your complaints or challenges can be a good way to set yourself free.

Its best you vent to people who are non-biased to your particular situation such as a Counselor or communities designed to help people with answers.

Venting to other people, including friends who would easily pick sides, may be counterproductive as they may stir up more hate or fury in you. I feel journaling is an excellent way to pour out your emotions without judging yourself.

7: Forgive

Don’t hold on to anger. Often times, we feel we’re entitled to revenge and Hate – so we waste our precious energy bottling up hate against other people, which manifests as anger and affects our character and personality.

Forgiveness is key to letting go of anger. Holding on to anger will only hurt you in the long run.

Imagine being known by all your neighbours as the “easily provoked person.” That I feel is a weakness, as you show you don’t have control over your triggers.

Anyone can use it against you.

Remember the saying – if you are easily angered/triggered, then you can be easily manipulated. If you have a negative thought in your mind, perhaps one of anger, ” let it go.”

5 Habits that’ll help you deal with anger

1. Meditate daily

The less you have time to meditate, the more you find your mood and temperament swinging beyond your control.

You could meditate using scriptures for those who are “faith-based” or any technique that works for you.

2. Show more love

Choosing to be kind despite the anger and pain beneath the surface especially to those who we expect to love us unconditionally like our parents.

I had a senior friend confess how his dad was afraid of collecting any gift from him at his old age because he never supported his education while he was growing up.

But he kept on showing and giving more love to his dad until he passed.

3. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are meant to let ourselves and other people know their limits.

You can either decide to overlook something you can no longer tolerate, or you can figure out a means to make its effects no longer have an impact on you.

For example, you could let other people know they shouldn’t say a particular word to you anymore you feel is provocative, while they may be seeing it as a joke.

Mute or block any toxic personality online.

Say no when you don’t want to do something instead of doing it with rage.

4. Work on your Character

Anger almost always masks vulnerabilities. When you find yourself being unnecessarily angry, it’s a sign you’ve gotta work on your character.

What are you afraid of and you’re masking with fury. A healthy character is not afraid of being vulnerable.

Your fears, pain, and weakness do not in any way make you less of a human unless you act so.

So stop being afraid of showing some aspects of those weaknesses. Everyone of us has our fears, pains, and weaknesses.

5. Dwell more on your “Ikigia”

I’ve been happier and less angry ever since i became an entrepreneur and began writing often. No surprise.

Every time I felt I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing, my temperament was on the high side.

While you could say I just needed to be patient or work on my character – I’ve found eliminating most of the things I hate to do and spending more time on those I love keeps my temperament and temper stable.

Other ways of dealing with anger;

  • Get in nature
  • Marry someone who will bring you peace instead of stress
  • Live in the moment
  • Smile often and surround yourself with good friends.

Pros and Cons of Sarcasm: 5 things I did to tone down sarcasm

If you can’t detect sarcasm – you’re going to have a lot of misunderstandings with friends and family plus fall easily into several traps in life.

Is sarcasm good or bad? Infact, there are studies that claim “not understanding sarcasm can be a warning sign of dementia later in life.

Are sarcasm and humor the same

Sarcasm can be used as a tool to build rapport or to put someone down. It all depends on the intent of the person using it.

Where does sarcasm come from

History and types of Sarcasm:

Sarcasm has been around for centuries. It was once used as a form of wit and humor, but it has since evolved into something more complex. There are many different ways to be sarcastic.

Some sarcasm is lighthearted and harmless, while other sarcasm is mean-spirited and hurtful.

What does sarcasm say about a person

We had a course mate in school that was extremely sarcastic. His response to every question was a joke – it didn’t matter how serious you were.

Funny enough, he was smart academically. Whatever jokes and pranks he made never affected his grades. Then all of a sudden – he dropped out. It wasn’t really clear but we heard he went to pursue a football dream in a foreign country.

The sad part of the story was he came back after 3 years or so to see if he could start all over as his plans didn’t work out. He became very bitter and reserved. The same person that was joking all around before could barely say a word.

It made me think much of who he really was all the time he was “King of Sarcasm.”

Who was behind the smiles and unnecessary jokes? I’m not against being Jovial or taking life less seriously ….The danger is when you allow Sarcasm do more harm than good:

Hide the real you.

How much sarcasm is too much

Why i decided to tone down Sarcasm?

In fact, I was this way before; I had a lot of insecurities as a kid and even through my teenage years. I could barely laugh without covering my mouth.

And to crown it all – I was amongst the most sarcastic person you could think of.

Then I got physically sick. I decided to start making changes to my life and stop following the crowd.

One of the first things I decided to tone down my SARCASM. It was time for not just others to take me seriously but for me to take myself seriously.

Enough saying one thing while I meant the other. Not sure if you could communicate without sarcasm?

5 things I did to tone down sarcasm

1: Became more self-aware

Its funny most sarcastic people think they’re in control of their emotions and words– but a few like me didn’t know what we were doing.

Some people use sarcasm as a way to keep people at a distance. It can be used as a way to avoid intimacy or to protect oneself from getting hurt.In fact I think sarcasm is a low vibration form of communication.

Think of a 5 year old kid that answers every question with Sarcasm. Except you’re really strong or experienced, you may just be projecting your insecurity on others without taking responsibility for your emotions.

2: Set clearer priorities

Having a sense of humor is cool but sarcasm can be usually crueler than that.

If you have clearer and higher priorities – you may have little time for being sarcastic.

Of course, there are exceptions – you may be a stand-up comedian or have any other career that involves playing around with your personality.

But most sarcastic people I’ve seen have normal careers. So, I don’t see any downside of learning to say what you mean directly even if you add some humour without sarcasm.

3: Attract like minds

You tend to attract the same kind of personality you portray. I’m not cool with being sarcastic with every statement so eliminating most of my sarcasm has helped me attract clearer people in terms of communication.

Sarcasm can be used as a way to manipulate or control others. It can also be used as a weapon to hurt someone emotionally or to make them feel inferior.

4: Developed Empathy

There’s a fine line with sarcasm. It can be difficult to tell when someone is being sarcastic. This can often lead to hurt feelings or miscommunications.

Sarcasm can be hostility disguised as wit and humour. With some empathy – you seek to stop mocking others or play harsh.

Not everybody would take you sarcasm lightly – so you may need to lower the sarcasm to become more empathetic in life.

5: Chose Discipline

Some people believe that sarcasm is a sign of intelligence. They believe that it requires a certain level of wit and creativity to come up with sarcastic comments.

While having a good sense of sarcasm may be a sign of intelligence; tapering it down when necessary involves discipline. That’s why it’s hard to even stop or even know you’ve gone overboard with sarcasm.

There are kids who are more sarcastic than adults because their parents or guardians didn’t put much effort on disciplining their tongues or words.

How to Use Sarcasm

I’ve seen people make request for a special font online to indicate sarcasm. If used correctly, sarcasm can be a great way to add humor to a conversation.

But if used incorrectly, it can be hurtful and offensive.

Some things to keep in mind while using sarcasm:-

  • making sure the other person will understand it in the end
  • not allowing it overshadow your personality trait.



Finding Love: 9 Ways to Stay Positive and Avoid Losing Hope

Have you given up on finding someone despite years of trying and numerous unsuccessful relationships?

Love is one of the most beautiful things in the world. But sometimes it seems so far away.

It can be difficult to maintain hope when it seems like love is so far away.

Sometimes, it may feel like you will never find the right person or that you are not good enough.

We tend to do stupid things when we crave for intimacy and that we end up regretting.

However, it is important to remember that everyone is unique and that there is someone out there who will love you for who you are even if not romantically.

Sometimes you find love when you’re not looking for it. For some, they found love so easily – holding unto a partner for long or jumping into several relationships.

But for some others – love tends to always appear so far away:

It’s either you’re parting ways sooner after you meet because it’s just the wrong timing or the interest keeps fading away after a short while.

Funny enough, this post is published today, Valentine’s day. Love is really all that matters because everyone comes into this world with nothing other than love and leaves with nothing other than love.

9 Mindset Shifts to Help You Stay Optimistic While Looking for Love

1: Love yourself

Are you in love with the person you look into the mirror every single day?

True love with another starts with being kind to yourself because at the end of the day, your success in the outside world is a reflection of your success on the inside.

A friend once wrote this:

Only when I become aware of who I was, only when I learned to love myself and have a relationship with me, did I start to appreciate what I had, I was able to remove expectations, stop judging and stop comparing myself to others.

2: Practice Love

Show love to everyone you come across. Especially to those in need.

Not to boast but just to state how easy it is to think of only yourself these days:

When people you meet on the street ask for help; its easy to make excuses and walk past them.

But the most joy and reward comes when we help those we don’t expect nothing from.

When you love someone who doesn’t love you back, it can be difficult to move on.

Sometimes it feels like the only thing you can do is wait for them to change their mind. Its called unrequited love.

Don’t forget to love those that really love you. If you’re lost, start with people you feel love you unconditionally e.g. parents and siblings.

3: Do things that make you happy

When you’re feeling down, do things that make you happy. Spend time with your friends, go for walks, watch your favorite movie, etc.

Don’t lose yourself chasing after things you have no control of.

Do things that love you back.

Some examples of things that love you back:

  • Exercise
  • Eating nutritious foods
  • Pursuing your passions/purpose/dharma
  • Focus on yourself: This is a good time to focus on your own happiness.

Do things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself.

4: Let go of your past

It could be a divorce, betrayal, abusive relationship or not just finding the right partner that’s holding you back.

The key is to let go of your past and pursue new goals.

Only then can you discover yourself again and find happiness, fulfillment, and self-love again.

Sometimes the person you love just isn’t a good match for you. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you, it just means that you’re not compatible.

It’s not you, it’s them.

5: Engage in more experiences

Isolating yourself most likely isn’t going to help you find love.

Engage in more Experiences in good places and events that can increase your chances of meeting beautiful people.

6: Ditch Infatuations and only seeking pleasure

Love is not Infatuations.

Watching strangers get intimate for the sake of pleasure would not help any matters either.

7: Write 

Writing can be therapeutic.

Write down all of your thoughts and emotions.

You may be able to see things more clearly after doing this.

8: Don’t give up on love

People you love at times are going to mess up.

You are too, perhaps even more.

A good relationship involves a lot of asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.It’s never too late to find love again at whatever situation you find yourself.

Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to. It doesn’t mean that you’re not meant to be together, it just means that it wasn’t meant to be.

There’s someone out there who will love you for who you are.

9: Let love find you 

Have you noticed sometimes when you stop chasing things they become attracted to you?

At those moments, the best way to find love is to let love find you.

Here’s how Charissa Enget put it in a quora post:

I think when you stop looking for love, you set your life in the direction you want. Then, those who are moving in the same direction see where you’re headed and want to join you. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by those with the same goals and ambitions as you, and opportunities for love surround you. When you stop looking for love, you’re not afraid to be alone. You’re sure of who you are and people can sense that. What you see is what you get. There’s no facade. Those who fall in love with you are going to fall for the real you.


No one is born believing that they are unlovable. It can be difficult to keep your faith in love when it seems so far away.

Sometimes, it may feel like love is never going to happen for you.

However, it is important to remember that love is out there and that you just have to be patient.

Bob Marley was once asked if there was a perfect woman. He replied:

Who cares about perfection? Even the moon is not perfect, it is full of craters. The sea is incredibly beautiful, but salty and dark in the depths. The sky is always infinite, but often cloudy. So, everything that is beautiful isn’t perfect, it’s special. Therefore, every woman can be special to someone. Stop being “perfect”, but try to be free and live, doing what you love, not wanting to impress others!

Choose love every chance you can.






10 ways to instill learning in your home and kids

How can we develop self learning skills in kids in the home and school environment?

I used to base my self worth solely on grades. No wonder I was losing the joy and beauty of learning as i grew older especially when i didn’t meet my expectations.

Now i know better, the goal of education is beyond the walls of a classroom.

It’s important for us all to prioritize learning, education and growth for ourselves and our future generations.

I wish parents could be more proactive about their kids learning, education and personal growth as education is the key to success, and prioritizing continuous learning will lead to new opportunities..

10 ways to instill love for learning in kids 

1: Reward learning

Whatever habit we reward we see more of it. Create a reward system for your kids towards their education.

Rewarding learning can help instill learning in kids by creating a positive reinforcement mechanism that encourages the child to continue learning and to associate learning with positive experiences.

This can take many forms, such as tangible rewards like prizes or treats, or intangible rewards like praise and recognition.

The child starts to understand that their learning efforts can result in good things, which can inspire them to keep learning and working toward success.

It’ll improve their self-esteem and help them get more confident in their pursuits which can further fuel their motivation to learn.

2: Encourage Questions

Encouraging kids to ask questions helps instill learning in kids by promoting an inquisitive and curious mindset.

Leaders ask questions!

It’s also a great way for children to learn and engage with challenges in life.

Asking questions is a key aspect of the learning process, as it helps children gain a deeper understanding of the world around them and encourages them to think critically.

When children are encouraged to ask questions, they are more likely to be engaged and invested in their own learning, and they develop the habit of seeking clarification and further information on topics they don’t fully understand.

This habit can lead to a deeper and more lasting understanding of the subject matter.

Additionally, a culture of asking questions can foster a supportive and collaborative learning environment, where children feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.

Encourage your child to ask questions and help them find answers. Even in their academic studies – let them know why you value learning over grades.

3: Encourage writing, journaling and brainstorming ideas

This is the key to help kids know themselves more and spark their creativity.

Here are a few examples of the various cognitive and linguistic abilities that are supported by this:

  1. Communication: Writing and journaling help kids express their thoughts and ideas in a clear and organized manner, which enhances their communication skills.
  2. Creativity: Brainstorming sessions and free-writing encourage kids to think creatively, generate new ideas, and explore different perspectives.
  3. Critical thinking: Writing and journaling encourage kids to reflect on their experiences and analyze information, helping them develop critical thinking skills.
  4. Vocabulary: Writing requires kids to use and expand their vocabulary, which in turn strengthens their language skills.
  5. Memory: Keeping a journal helps kids retain information better, as they are required to revisit and reflect on their experiences and ideas.

Overall, writing, journaling, and brainstorming help foster a love for learning and enhance academic and personal development.

See more tips on How to start Journaling.

4: Make it Fun!

The other day, a Mother on a podcast ironically was complaining of her kids never “read for fun.”

Meanwhile she wouldn’t allow them read some particular novels they were interested in because she thinks its a waste of time.

Learning should be a fun and enjoyable experience for children.

When learning is enjoyable, kids are more likely to be focused, attentive, and retain the information being taught.

Some ways in which making learning for fun can help instill learning in kids are:

  • Increased engagement: Fun activities and games hold kids’ attention and keep them interested in the subject, which leads to better retention and comprehension of the material.
  • Improved motivation: When learning is fun, kids are more motivated to participate and put in effort to achieve their goals.
  • Reinforcement of skills: Incorporating games and fun activities into learning helps reinforce the concepts and skills being taught, making them easier to remember.
  • Encouragement of creativity: Fun learning activities often require kids to think creatively, come up with innovative solutions, and develop their problem-solving skills.
  • Positive attitude towards learning: When learning is enjoyable, kids develop a positive attitude towards education, which can have long-lasting benefits for their academic and personal development.

Overall, making learning fun helps create a positive and engaging learning environment, which can have a significant impact on a child’s academic success and lifelong love for learning.

Try incorporating some fun e.g. games and activities into your child’s learning to keep them engaged.

5: Create Routines

A set daily routine will help children know what to expect each day and what is expected of them.

This will help them feel secure and build good learning habits.

Form good habits and make them your master – Brian Tracy

But this can be a downside if everything becomes predictable; hence boring.

There’s also a benefit in switching things up:

Ana Lorena explains this best on a tweet:

6: Limit how many hours you and your kids watch TV

We had a time limit on how much television we could watch when I was a child.

For a healthy balance, my parents wanted us to spend time on our homework, outside, and on chores.

Funny enough – but some homes have no limit on how many hours kids spend on TV even at bedtime.

Limiting TV time can help instill learning in kids by promoting other activities that support their education and personal growth.

For instance, limiting TV time can lead to an increase in time for reading, playing educational games, engaging in hands-on projects, and participating in physical activities, which can enhance their cognitive and social development.

In addition, reducing screen time can improve sleep habits and reduce distractions, both of which are crucial for academic success and better focus in the classroom.

If you don’t place a limit then they’ll find it hard to set better priorities.

In summary, limiting TV time can foster a more conducive environment for learning and academic success in kids.

7: Create a Learning Environment

Make your home Environment learning appealing.

Reading tables and any structures you set in place to make reading and all forms of learning effortless.

Utilize apps and devices like Kindle which support learning as a habit.

8: Lead by example

Kids tend to learn from their parents and people who are their role models.

If your kids have never seen you read for fun – how do you think they’ll take your words on learning?

Many times we remember to get new outfits, new gadgets but how much do we invest into our personal education.

Leading by example helps instill learning in kids because it sets a standard for behavior and attitudes, demonstrates the value of certain actions and beliefs, and creates a positive model for children to emulate.

When we as parents and teachers exhibit positive traits such as responsibility, empathy, and perseverance, children are more likely to adopt and internalize these qualities.

Such role modeling can also encourage children to adopt a growth mindset, which emphasizes the idea that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and practice.

In this way, leading by example can help instill lifelong learning habits and a love of learning in children.

9: Encourage Experimentation and taking action

What are their interests?

What they do want to try out?

Encouraging your child to be an active participant in their learning through things like discussion and hands-on activities.

If you encourage your kids to start taking risk while they’re young – they easier they can hit something big and worthwhile from a young age.

10: Why skills matter?

Kids should know why skills matter.

Each skill they gather under their belt gives them an edge over others.

Acquiring skills helps instill a love for learning in kids by providing them with a sense of accomplishment and building their confidence.

When children are able to successfully master a new skill or task, they feel a sense of pride and satisfaction.

This positive reinforcement can motivate them to continue seeking out new challenges and opportunities for learning.

Additionally, as children acquire new skills, they gain a deeper understanding of the subject matter, which can increase their curiosity and interest in related topics.

The process of acquiring skills also helps children develop a growth mindset, as they learn that they can improve and grow through effort and practice.

Overall, acquiring skills can help instill a love for learning by creating a positive, self-reinforcing cycle of skill-building, motivation, and curiosity.

Let your kids pick one or two High-income skills and start getting good at it.


Lifestyle Personal Development

11 Tips to Making your Every Day Easier

What is something that would make your life easier?

Life is hard. No one has it all easy.

But some actions we take make our lives more difficult.

Sometimes this is good … e.g. Exercise, taking risks all pose difficulty but create more meaning and potential benefits to our lives afterwards.

And for those things we engage in that only add stress and worry to our lives.

11 Tips to make your life easier 

Here are some ideas to make everyday life easier:

1: Focus on yourself

If you’re trying to change the world then you should start by changing yourself.

Focusing on yourself is how you lead inside-out.

Like Covey would say, “private victory before public victory.”

The goal is not narcissism or hatred for others but laying the foundation for your growth and personal development which is key to making your life easier in the future.

Focus on both your identity and actions:

Your life will become 10x easier when you stop thinking and start taking actions.

2: Get Fit

Nutrition and daily exercise is the building block for a healthy body and mind.

If you’re entrepreneur remember that focusing on your health is also a business decision.

As only a healthy body and mind can be stretched to its full capacity. It doesn’t matter what diet you follow – if you focus on real foods you’re ahead of majority of the population.

Start with eliminating most refined oils and processed carbs.

3: Plan your week/day

We all need to set time to create and make plans that are in alignment and harmony to who we are.

It’s not enough to set big goals – Having a plan to make them happen would certainly make your life easier and help you achieve those goals.

Planning is something top-performers never miss but most people sleep on.

And is something I find essential to get to where I want to go.

Its as simple as planning each day from the night before.

If you can plan not just your day but your week from the previous weekend – then you can have a bird’s eye view of how you expect your week to look like.

4: Live below your means

Saving pennies won’t make you rich but being conscious and strategic about your spending habits would.

It doesn’t matter how much you earn – there’s always something you can spend on that is above your tier.

The easiest way to maintain your wealth effortlessly is to live below your means.

5: Invest in your Relationships and Network

The quality of your life most of the time depends on the quality of your relationships, so make it a priority to create the right ones.

If you chase people that don’t love you back you might end up thinking the world is a terrible place filled with people that don’t give any fuck.

The opposite is true when you invest in your family, personal relationships and high-value networks.

Every relationship has a potential to either build you up or tear you down.

6: Stop following the crowd

At some point you must choose to be a leader and not follow the crowd.

It’s time to start doing you more of what resonates with you than what you see others doing when you’re trying to make your life easier.

Following the crowd is stressful and least effective in bringing out the best version of yourself.

What’s more important than following the crowd?

  • Focusing on your mission
  • Being consistent
  • Take massive action
  • Track your progress
  • Keep improving & learning

7: Build Rock solid Routines and Habits

First things first focus on creating healthy habits.

Sometimes you life doesn’t get easier, your habits just get better. Set up systems and routines to make things run more smoothly.

Two mums had a plan to train their kids to stop bedwetting. One trained her baby to sit on a potty every morning at almost the same time every day while the other left everything to chance.

Guess who achieved success in the shortest time?

The mother who created routines and instilled habits in her baby.

Good habits today = easier life tomorrow

8: Do Hard things

This sounds counterintuitive.

Who wants to talk about doing hard things when we’re trying to make our life easier.

The idea of skipping every hard thing you can think of just to make your life easier is a myth.

First you must select your battles. Then go hard on them.

Nothing good comes without sacrifice, patience and enduring difficult things especially at the start.

Most things including writing consistently come with a steep learning curve.

It looks grim with your initial efforts but you notice light at the end of the tunnel.

Life gets easier when you get harder.

9: Stop arguing

Most arguments are a blatant waste of time.

There’s always a better means to communicate your thoughts and ideals.

E.g. Writing, giving Presentations.

There are people who are blinded by ego, resentment or hatred who no matter how much evidence is presented to them are not in the capacity to understand and all they want is to be right even if they are not.

When you argue – you’re more concerned about being right than communicating what you stand for which is not only backwards but says a lot about your self-esteem.

10: Learn the Power of Leverage

Whether its building a business or a brand, you can only go as far as you can handle; but with leveraging systems and others – you can 10x your reach and impact.

You only become wealthy when you’re able to leverage and upscale your value.

For example:

  • Building content organically
  • Making use of social media platforms
  • Using paid ads on your products and services: I sold to hundreds of customers on my first month running paid ads on my business compared to selling physically.
  • Joining Affiliate networks or allowing others become affiliates for you

All these go a long way to tell you building your business online or anything you do legitimately to make money online is the ultimate leverage of the 21st century.

11: Bonus Point: Learn to say no

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by too many commitments.

Learn to say no and simplify your life.

Say no more often, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries with others.


Life is easier when you’re more conscious of your choices, routines and lifestyle.

The lessons may be hard to learn but they can make your life much easier if you apply them.


How to Create Memories that Last Forever

How can you enjoy life more and create lasting memories with loved ones?

The most beautiful things in life are not things:

They are people and places and memories and pictures.

They are feelings and moments and smiles and laughter.

How to Create memories that last a lifetime

1: Write

Put your thoughts and experiences into words, share with others and even allow future generations to interact with it long after you’re gone.

This is my favourite tip on creating lasting memories as i don’t take or have a lot of pictures.

Same thing happens when you Journal ideas. Write down your memories in a journal.

Rereading your journal can bring back memories.

Learn more: How to start journaling? 

Writing to create memories loved ones

Keep a journal or a memory book where you can write down special moments and memories together.

2: Tell stories

Share your stories with others through writing, speaking, or other creative outlets.

Stories are one way humans get connected to each other and we understand each other on a deeper level.

The best way to keep engaged anyone with your content is Story.

What are some old sayings from your parents/culture/religion that you still live by?

Spend time talking about your childhood with your family and friends.

Here’s one of my favourite stories on why you should invest your time being valuable:

1 million dollar of 30 seconds painting:

One day a girl went to an exhibition where she saw Picasso. She came to Picasso and she said…

“Picasso I’m a big fan of yours, and she handed him a pen and paper and asked, “Can you draw something for me?”

In just 30 seconds, Picasso made a beautiful painting, and when she started going then Picasso said to her…

Mem this painting cost is $1 million and you have to pay for it to get it.

She was shocked. “$1 million for just 30 seconds of painting?”

Picasso said…’To make this painting in just 30 seconds, Took me 30 years of time.

The lesson is investing in yourself and becoming more valuable always pays off more than you think in tomorrow. 

3: Travel

Life hack to create more memories – travel more.

Travelling is a way to go out, see new things and learn to engage to with other people’s cultures.

2022 was a big one for me.

I traveled to several places I had never visited before, tasted their foods, and tried to learn their cultures a bit.

It gave me more time to think, take cold showers, and come back a better person.

4: Create shared experiences:

Go on trips or vacations, try new activities, and make shared memories.

Do things together that are new and exciting for you and others. Hanging out, eating together.

Eating family dinner at the table every night, with no phones and no tv is a great way to talk and bond with your family.

Food and drinks can help lighten everyone’s mood when trying to build lasting memories.

5: Take pictures

Capture special moments so that you can look back on them in the future.

Taking lots of photos is an easy way to make sure you don’t forget any details of your memories.

A picture says a thousand words.

This was how apps like Facebook and Instagram became relevant.

Make a photo album of your favorite memories. We can always look at photos of friends, family, occasions and bring back such memories.

6: Be present with others

Listen to them, look them in the eye, and be fully engaged when you’re with them.

Talk openly and honestly with each other, share your thoughts and feelings, and listen actively.

Live by intention

This is the point of meditation and mindfulness. To help you live more in the moment and take more conscious decisions.

Your memories of your past are usually shaped by your selective memory and the meaning you’ve attached to your experiences.

Now applying this to everything we do especially our work, can lead to more fulfillment, increase in happiness.

If you can spend your time on whatever brings you more joy, excitement, and passion—whether it be work, play, rest, or anything in between—very few things, including an increase in income, can stand in the way of you creating the experiences you want.

7: Give Gifts

People can remember you for your gifts.

In fact if you get it wrong – you may end up getting remembered for what you don’t want.

Show your loved ones how much they mean to you and let them know how much you appreciate them.

8: Help others

What positive memories can you create today in the lives of others amidst all the chaos?

Imagine helping someone solve a problem they thought were impossible.

Moments like these are invaluable memories.

9: Make friends

The more friends and connections we make – the more we can create memories we may never forget.

The key is to focus on quality over quantity. Tell them how much they mean to you and why they’re important to you.

Meeting your friends including virtual ones can create memories that make you bond more.⁣

The people you surround yourself with are the people you will become.

10: Use technology

I use Evernote for almost every single good idea I read or view online so that I don’t forget anything ever again!

The search feature on its is insane.

11: Bonus point: Fall in love

Love is really all that matters because everyone comes into this world with nothing other than love and leaves with nothing other than love.

Talking about love, I’ll end with a story about Florence Martus, the woman behind the Waving Girl statue:

Photo of the Florence Martus statue in Savannah, Georgia.
By Jami430 – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0,

For many kind-hearted people the impulse to throw a friendly wave to passing ships is pretty strong, but one local Savannah woman made it her unofficial lifelong duty.

Florence Martus was known to Savannahians and sailors around the world as the waving girl.

For much of her life, Florence was the first person ships saw when they entered the harbor, making her essentially the Hostess City’s patron saint of southern hospitality.

Born in 1869 on Cockspur Island, Florence was the daughter of Sgt. John H. Martus. Sgt. Martus was stationed at Fort Pulaski after the Civil War to oversee repairs after Union bombardment.

As a teenager, Florence moved into a remote cottage on the bank of the Savannah River with her brother George, a lighthouse keeper who had been transferred from Cockspur Island Lighthouse to Elba Island Lighthouse, where they lived a rather lonely and solitary life.

From an early age, Florence had waved to ships as they entered Savannah Harbor, and that habit had become a personal duty by the time she moved onto Elba Island.

With her loyal collie by her side, Florence would greet every passing ship with a wave of her handkerchief or tablecloth during the day and with a lantern at night.

The ships would return the greeting with a blast of their horns, and her reputation began to spread among sailors across the globe.

This tradition continued for 44 years, and by the time she retired in 1931, it was estimated that Florence had waved to over 50,000 ships without missing one.

Local lore suggests that Florence waved to every ship in the hopes that the Yankee sailor she had fallen in love with when she was young would one day return. Florence passed away on February 8, 1943 and is buried in Laurel Grove Cemetery next to her brother and parents.

In 1943, a Liberty ship built in Savannah was named the SS Florence Martus in her honor. A bronze statue of Florence Martus, sculpted by famed artist Felix De Weldon (who also created the Iwo Jima Monument) was erected in 1972 on River Street in Morell Park. Facing the river, the 9-foot statue depicts Florence and her dog waving her handkerchief so that the waving girl can continue the tradition of welcoming ships to Savannah.


I hope you start living a life worth living, taking risks and create lasting memories.

Create new memories filled with peace, goodwill, and compassion for others.






Uncovering the Factors that Influence Our Decision Making Process

When it comes to making decisions, we like to think that we are rational and logical creatures. However, the truth is that our decision making is influenced by a variety of factors, some of which we may not even be aware of.

From our emotions and past experiences to societal norms and cognitive biases, there are many forces at play that shape our choices.

In this blog post, we will explore the various factors that influence our decision making and how they play a role in the choices we make on a daily basis.”

Every now and then we realize how every decision we make comes with a consequence.

There’s a quote that got me into personal development – “We can choose our actions – but we can’t choose the consequences.”

In order words – you are free to choose but not free from the consequences. Statements like these are more like a double-edged sword.

It can work in your favour if you take advantage of it and it can also mess with your progress and results.

First, you must understand the underlying reasons that might keep you from getting what you want.

And in reality both outcomes are going to happen every now and then. But to what aspect of your life would you tolerate any level of outcome? I’ve been reflecting much on emotions such as feeling of pain, guilt, shame and disgust.

Sometimes they happen out of life challenges but many a times they come from our choices. And then it all boils down to addressing the quality of your decisions.

Where does decision making happen in the brain?

The prefrontal cortex, located at the front of the brain is the main area responsible for key decisions such as planning, decision making, and judgment. It’s also involved in controlling impulse and regulating behaviour.

The amygdala, which processes emotions, and the basal ganglia, which initiates actions, are two other regions of the brain associated with decision-making

The decisions we take lead to consequences shaping our lives which we have either desired or didn’t give much thought to.

10 Factors that Influence Our Decision Making Process

1: Mindset

When you see people succeeding in any field – they’re either doing things differently than the average or have a different belief system.

The latter is where mindset comes into play in how we make decisions and the results we achieve.

‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.’ – Henry Ford.

So to get more desirable consequences – upgrade your thinking and mindset.

Once you work on your mindset – you make it easy to make more quality decisions and the consequences become more desirable.

This 2023, adopt a bias toward an action mindset if you want your decisions to produce more results:

10 Ways to Build Bias-for-Action Mindset in 2023

2: Health choices

Apart from genetics – even more important and within your control is your lifestyle habits that impacts the outcome of your health.

Every choice of what we put in our bodies, lifestyle choices and physical activity plays a role in both our mental and physical health.

A lot of people think – you’re going to make healthier choices naturally when you get older or sick.

But without a level of consciousness its harder to think or make choices then plus you become faced with prioritizing medications over everything else.

Take for example, sleep. Poor sleep affects every part of your biology on a deep level.

Short-term consequences include:- heightened stress response, pain, depression, anxiety and cognition, memory, and performance deficits.

Long-term consequences include: weight gain, metabolic illness such as hypertension and diabetes and low level of Testosterone for men.

3: Focus

Wherever you give more of your time and attention – shows your priorities.

Every time I give more time and attention to social media and random information I see on the media – the level of control I feel I have of my time diminishes.

If you want more desirable outcomes then you got to give more time and attention to those things you want to see more of.

Most of these platforms and media have mastered how to keep you addicted regardless of the quality of outcome you get from them.

Also focusing on the wrong metrics leads to pain and suffering. E.g. if you’re working on your business focusing on revenue alone instead of who you’re helping will kill your business.

It’s a huge mistake young entrepreneurs make and spend years stuck in the consequences…This is a recipe for sleepless nights, being worried about incoming bills, and low fulfillment even if you achieve wealth.

What are you focusing on?

4: The people around us

The people that we interact with on a daily basis have a huge impact on the choices that we make. They can influence our opinions and the way we see the world.

We’re constantly making choices of our associations daily. And the consequences are evident in what we tolerate of ourselves and how far we go in life.

Take for example – the choice of your significant other. Since they’re potentially the person you’re going to spend the most time with in life they can accelerate or deter your growth.

Once you make the decision of whom you hang around with – then you ultimately decide a certain level of outcome.

5: Our Emotions

While reflecting on guilt and shame – energy levels can contribute to our emotions.

Our emotions can affect the choices that we make. When we are feeling happy, we are more likely to make positive choices.

When we are feeling sad, we are more likely to make negative choices. One minute you’re feeling all high and on top of the world with dopamine choices such as drugs, alcohol or porn – at the end of the day you’re left with such a low which you thought you didn’t really choose.

Boosting your energy levels naturally leads to achieving an attractive body with more ease and longevity in private & business.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣The consequences are more time for yourself, your loved ones and more fun in life.⁣⁣⁣

6: Daily Habits

Tiny and little habits compounded everyday can lead to powerful consequences.

The most important tasks on your table can have the most serious consequences to your day, positive or negative. And when it comes to changing habits – there is discomfort in changing your habits.

⁣And there is also the discomfort of tolerating the consequences of NOT changing those habits.

Take for example – Writing every day in a particular interest makes you choose to practice daily, research daily and ultimately the consequences is becoming an expert in such niche if you stick to it.

7: Our goals and values

The goals and values that we have can also affect the choices that we make.

If we value our safety or security, we may make choices that are based on that.

If we have a goal of becoming wealthy, we may make choices that are based on that.

We’re either becoming better or getting worse. The key is to live intention.

Living with intentionality means actively choosing your actions and priorities in life, rather than simply reacting to circumstances.

It’s about being present and mindful in each moment and making conscious decisions that align with your values and goals. Every choice you`ve made so far in your life or business is either propelling you towards your dream life and goals or deteriorating you away from it!

8: Our experiences

Our past experiences play a big role in the choices that we make. They can shape our beliefs and opinions.

When I saw my sister die of Cancer, nothing was going to allow me go back to taking my health for granted.

They shape the way we see the world and the choices that we make. If we have had positive or negative experiences with certain people or situations, we are more likely to make similar choices in the future.

9: Legal choices

I had a partner who quit with one foot inside and the other outside. It was tough but i discovered we had no legal backing from the start.

No one likes laws suits and court cases. But some little precautions, signed agreements and proper contracts in place for your business can prevent consequences you don’t want to deal with in the future.

10: Our environment

The environment that we are in can affect the choices that we make.

If we are in a positive environment, we are more likely to make positive choices.

If we are in a negative environment, we are more likely to make negative choices.

Your physical and mental health can both suffer if you spend a long time in a toxic environment.

How social media affect decision making

Social media can affect decision making by influencing what people focus on and pay attention to. You notice content that get the most shares and engagements become a higher priority for people and influence their decisions and actions.

How much of what you’ve seen Algorithms used by social media platforms can also affect what content is shown to users, which can in turn influence their focus and decision making.


Well, there you have it! We have explored the various factors that influence our decision making, from our emotions and past experiences to daily habits and environment.

Only when you discover how to ask for what you want through your choices can you experience a change in the direction of your desired outcome.

It’s important to be aware of these influences so that we can make informed and mindful decisions.

So the next time you are faced with a choice, take a moment to consider all of the factors at play and make a decision that aligns with your values and goals.

Remember, every choice you make today shapes your tomorrow. So choose wisely.



Ten Reasons To Focus On Yourself Prior To Dating

Should i date or focus on myself? This is one of the biggest questions singles ponder on especially in their 20s.

I’m not married yet.

I don’t have a kid.

Do I qualify to write on this?

But I have all that as part of my goals in the future and finding the right one is part of the plan.

“I didn’t get any pus*y last night. He yelled at the airport. Then he complained of her statement. Her only excuse was something vague like – “I just can’t do this.”

And so was his brain. He couldn’t comprehend.

First we conversed since we were going to the same destination and we were a bit early. I found he came from a “tech town”.

And I asked if he coded or owned a business. He sighed. Nothing. “I was just born there.”

Then later came the yelling and whining. He was on a Video group call with his guy friends. And all they were talking about was “who smashed who” last night.

Then I thought of my experience.

I met her two weeks before then. From the first day – we shared a lot in common. I liked her. She liked me. At least she said so.

We were constrained by time as we both stayed in that town for only 3 weeks. And we were literally struggling with different thoughts and plans. But then she was interesting.

Not just that she had much interests to talk about but she actually READs. The first lady I met that loved to read. Even though it was only FICTION but it meant something and was a good sign.

We talked about everything. Then we talked about dating. She had dated and dated. Then she asked me – “How many girls have you dated?” The answer was embarrassing to her.

Apart from one or two ladies I had met without even getting into a serious relationship – that was it. She had been dating since high school. I didn’t ask for her body count.

But she’s dated and dated and had so much experience. And she was a good kisser. Her love energy was insane. We said we missed each other afterwards. We were headed entirely different routes.

I never saw her again until a Facebook post. She got engaged. Then She got married. Yep, I didn’t really put effort. Maybe the story would have ended differently.

I knew I just wasn’t ready.

10 Reasons To Focus On Yourself Prior To Dating

1: Getting to Know Yourself

It is important to know who you are as an individual prior to dating so that you can be confident in yourself and know what you want in a partner.

Take a break if from dating apps if you’re struggling to find yourself.

Maybe you’re trying to first achieve a certain level of success. Or feel you’re losing yourself lately due to too much dating and pleasing the other party.

Then it’s time to pause or eliminate the random dating sites. No tinder and bumble.

Prioritize your goals such as money, fitness, health over women as a man. It applies the same with females. You want zero distractions at such periods.

People spend hours each day on social and dating apps just creeping and it can be a highly unproductive activity.

2: Establishing Your Priorities

By focusing on yourself, you can establish your priorities and figure out what you are looking for in a relationship.

What do you like? What do you want out of life? What are your goals and aspirations? These are things you need to figure out before you can let someone else into your life.

It’s important to know what you want in a partner and in a relationship before you start dating. This way, you can avoid wasting your time with someone who is not a good fit for you.

3: Don’t date without a plan

Men are known to be “hunters.”

We always have a plan in mind.

When you start to take your life more seriously as a man – you realize most friendships with the other sex would only cost you responsibility without any returns.

When you’re willing to date – make sure the other party is aware of your intention. “I’m asking you out” can save you countless pointless “dates” and money.

This way they know you’re serious and take you more seriously. It takes wisdom to stop being afraid of rejection. What’s the worst that can happen? You weren’t dating or whatever before so you haven’t actually lost anything.

If they reject you, it wasn’t meant to be so dust yourself off and try again! If they’re not interested – they shouldn’t be comfortable with any big investment of your time and attention unless they’re just “players.”

4: Make sure your dating is in alignment with your goals.

Its more fun and rewarding when you’re both working on your goals such as health, fitness and careers.

I’ve seen people who’re really into their faith say it comes before any relationship and they’re not willing to get it any other way round. So in such case your relationship must also be increasing your faith.

The fact is your dating life should be benefiting every aspect of your lives.

My present lady never wants me to overspend on any random stuff. And I find it really thoughtful of her and see her as a “keeper.”

5: If you’re losing your peace – then it costs too much

This is a bitter pill to swallow if you’re in a toxic relationship. You get to lose your peace of mind but find it hard to let go.

Sexual intimacy, money, attention etc can never substitute for peace of mind.

Most of those are not stable even in a normal relationships but your peace of mind should be a guaranteed asset in any healthy relationship.

You need to be happy and content with who you are as an individual prior to adding another person into the mix. If you’re not happy with yourself, you’re not going to be able to make your partner happy.

6: Don’t chase

Chasing is a form of desperation. And shows no respect for yourself even you get ghosted.

When the guy at the airport was all screaming and yelling “he didn’t get any p*ssy last night”– it was all desperation for sex like an “animalistic act.” No affection there.

Imagine if the lady had been the one chasing for those periods and only realized it at the last moment. So many girls regain their senses close to or after sex.

Instead of chasing, work on developing yourself to attract people who are worth your time and attention.

7: Give yourself time to heal after a breakup

Don’t try to date too soon after a breakup, or you may not be ready to open yourself up to someone new.

Allow yourself to feel all the emotions – the good and the bad.

Here’s a word from Joseph Wells on his popular “Lessons from 30 years of living post“:

“Marriage is for making things work. Dating is for finding the best person to make things work with. When you break up, break up. Don’t stay friends. Don’t take a break. Move on. Delete their social media. Block their number. Forget about them. It hurts at first and it’s easier to drag things out, but you’ll feel better faster if you don’t.”

8: Discover Who You Are

When you’re in a relationship, you tend to forget about your own hobbies and interests.

Once you’re single again, it’s time to rediscover those things that make you happy.

Focusing on yourself will help you figure out what you want in a partner.

9: Learning to Love Yourself

Learning to love yourself is an important step in dating because if you don’t love yourself, it will be difficult to find someone who loves you.

Learn to be more deserving of love again.

10: You’ll Be A Better Partner

If you’re able to focus on yourself and work on becoming the best possible version of yourself, you’ll be a better partner in a relationship.

Your partner will appreciate your efforts and you’ll be setting a good example.

11: Bonus point: Practice

Getting out of your comfort zone when you feel ready won’t be easy. Dating again after a long relationship or painful breakup will feel awkward.

Opening your heart again to the possibility of new love will feel doubtful.

Dating is a skill. It takes practice.

Put yourself out there.