Category: Personal Development

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Lifestyle Personal Development

11 Tips to Making your Every Day Easier

What is something that would make your life easier?

Life is hard. No one has it all easy.

But some actions we take make our lives more difficult.

Sometimes this is good … e.g. Exercise, taking risks all pose difficulty but create more meaning and potential benefits to our lives afterwards.

And for those things we engage in that only add stress and worry to our lives.

11 Tips to make your life easier 

Here are some ideas to make everyday life easier:

1: Focus on yourself

If you’re trying to change the world then you should start by changing yourself.

Focusing on yourself is how you lead inside-out.

Like Covey would say, “private victory before public victory.”

The goal is not narcissism or hatred for others but laying the foundation for your growth and personal development which is key to making your life easier in the future.

Focus on both your identity and actions:

Your life will become 10x easier when you stop thinking and start taking actions.

2: Get Fit

Nutrition and daily exercise is the building block for a healthy body and mind.

If you’re entrepreneur remember that focusing on your health is also a business decision.

As only a healthy body and mind can be stretched to its full capacity. It doesn’t matter what diet you follow – if you focus on real foods you’re ahead of majority of the population.

Start with eliminating most refined oils and processed carbs.

3: Plan your week/day

We all need to set time to create and make plans that are in alignment and harmony to who we are.

It’s not enough to set big goals – Having a plan to make them happen would certainly make your life easier and help you achieve those goals.

Planning is something top-performers never miss but most people sleep on.

And is something I find essential to get to where I want to go.

Its as simple as planning each day from the night before.

If you can plan not just your day but your week from the previous weekend – then you can have a bird’s eye view of how you expect your week to look like.

4: Live below your means

Saving pennies won’t make you rich but being conscious and strategic about your spending habits would.

It doesn’t matter how much you earn – there’s always something you can spend on that is above your tier.

The easiest way to maintain your wealth effortlessly is to live below your means.

5: Invest in your Relationships and Network

The quality of your life most of the time depends on the quality of your relationships, so make it a priority to create the right ones.

If you chase people that don’t love you back you might end up thinking the world is a terrible place filled with people that don’t give any fuck.

The opposite is true when you invest in your family, personal relationships and high-value networks.

Every relationship has a potential to either build you up or tear you down.

6: Stop following the crowd

At some point you must choose to be a leader and not follow the crowd.

It’s time to start doing you more of what resonates with you than what you see others doing when you’re trying to make your life easier.

Following the crowd is stressful and least effective in bringing out the best version of yourself.

What’s more important than following the crowd?

  • Focusing on your mission
  • Being consistent
  • Take massive action
  • Track your progress
  • Keep improving & learning

7: Build Rock solid Routines and Habits

First things first focus on creating healthy habits.

Sometimes you life doesn’t get easier, your habits just get better. Set up systems and routines to make things run more smoothly.

Two mums had a plan to train their kids to stop bedwetting. One trained her baby to sit on a potty every morning at almost the same time every day while the other left everything to chance.

Guess who achieved success in the shortest time?

The mother who created routines and instilled habits in her baby.

Good habits today = easier life tomorrow

8: Do Hard things

This sounds counterintuitive.

Who wants to talk about doing hard things when we’re trying to make our life easier.

The idea of skipping every hard thing you can think of just to make your life easier is a myth.

First you must select your battles. Then go hard on them.

Nothing good comes without sacrifice, patience and enduring difficult things especially at the start.

Most things including writing consistently come with a steep learning curve.

It looks grim with your initial efforts but you notice light at the end of the tunnel.

Life gets easier when you get harder.

9: Stop arguing

Most arguments are a blatant waste of time.

There’s always a better means to communicate your thoughts and ideals.

E.g. Writing, giving Presentations.

There are people who are blinded by ego, resentment or hatred who no matter how much evidence is presented to them are not in the capacity to understand and all they want is to be right even if they are not.

When you argue – you’re more concerned about being right than communicating what you stand for which is not only backwards but says a lot about your self-esteem.

10: Learn the Power of Leverage

Whether its building a business or a brand, you can only go as far as you can handle; but with leveraging systems and others – you can 10x your reach and impact.

You only become wealthy when you’re able to leverage and upscale your value.

For example:

  • Building content organically
  • Making use of social media platforms
  • Using paid ads on your products and services: I sold to hundreds of customers on my first month running paid ads on my business compared to selling physically.
  • Joining Affiliate networks or allowing others become affiliates for you

All these go a long way to tell you building your business online or anything you do legitimately to make money online is the ultimate leverage of the 21st century.

11: Bonus Point: Learn to say no

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by too many commitments.

Learn to say no and simplify your life.

Say no more often, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries with others.

12: CONCLUSION

Life is easier when you’re more conscious of your choices, routines and lifestyle.

The lessons may be hard to learn but they can make your life much easier if you apply them.

Categories
Personal Development

Consistency is Key: 11 Simple Habits for Achieving Your Dreams

What inspires you everyday to be consistent in achieving your goals? And more importantly how do you handle success and be consistent about it?

Its not about what you do ….it’s about what you do consistently.

I gave out a job to someone who wasn’t experienced or qualified enough based on her personal request.

Then I put her through some training….and after a few trials she got something presentable.

In fact, to my surprise it received so much acceptance from others that no one knew it was her “first” professional work.

But what’s funny is … after that success I didn’t hear back from her. Then i thought to myself – Success is not about hitting the home run once.

Every successful person I know today were consistent on doing things until they became excellent at it.

11 keys to be consistent in life

1: Have a clear why

You can tell who’s not going to quit after a few weeks from their “why” and priorities from the start.

Without a deep why you will fail and lack consistency. It takes some self-awareness, planning and telling yourself the truth to know what you want.

Else you find yourself chasing a game that means nothing to you.

Having a different priority from everyone else is not bad on its own.

E.g. most people good on writing may not be consistent with other forms of social media e.g. instagram or making tiktok videos.

2: Start small

If you’ve ever run a business before – you find the system rewards people who are the most consistent in terms of return over investment. But first everyone starts small.

With time you’re comfortable with taking more risks and even failing harder but get better exponentially.

It all adds up – you lose all the potential reward if you don’t see the value of stacking small wins.

3: Do the Boring work

Having a “Shiny Object Syndrome” will keep you stuck, with little hope of progress.

Dreaming and manifestation alone is easier than getting your ass down to the boring work but is less effective in helping you stay consistent.

Doing the boring work is the key to filtering through all the noise and complexity, at the same time taking confident consistent steps towards your goals.

⁣There’s no beautiful output you know which has an all-time “exciting process.”

The process gets boring at times and sometimes even the most talented people feel like quitting.

I believe there’s a place to embracing boredom to achieving mastery. Remember, it’s in the pushing through, bouncing back from failure and avoiding the shiny objects that we can make consistency a second nature.

4: Embrace imperfection

You don’t need to have everything figured out.

Alex Hormozi & his spouse Leah, have been breaking the internet and social media platforms of recent – from 0 to millions in audience across all platforms.

I love a response Leah his wife gave on an interview on how they feel when a post of hers doesn’t get as much engagement as expected.

She responded by saying “it’s nothing” as it just reminds her she’s just another human and “learner” contributing her ideas and not anybody perfect.

When you’re getting consistent on any habit – quit getting embarrassed, ashamed or even upset on the initial outcome of your work.

Swallow your pride even if you’re reprimanded by any higher authority and take the correction while still being consistent.

5: Create Routines and rituals

Your routines and habits tell a lot about your priorities.

Our brain craves for routines as much as we do. Routines and habits make it easy for us and our brains to:-

  • Use less energy
  • Reduce friction and
  • Do work in less time

6: Start with having a set schedule.

Having a set schedule will help you to be more consistent.

You will be less likely to miss a day if you have a set time that you do something.

7: Hold yourself accountable

Quit making Excuses.

When you’re trying to be consistent with a habit – it’s one thing to take responsibility and another to tolerate your excuses.

Have you noticed how our excuses always come with random stories

When you’re struggling with any habit such as writing online consistently or reading at least a chapter every day – the “I don’t have enough time” is the favorite excuse.

But if you count how many hours we spend doom scrolling, chatting or on Netflix – then you realize how much more we could do with our time.

Keeping yourself accountable will help to make sure you stick to your goal.

7: Set a Goal

We play differently when we set goals and have deadlines. Having a specific goal in mind will help to keep you on track.

James Clear popularized why “systems beat goals” in terms of being consistent and getting results – but setting realistic goals help us keep scores and celebrate our successes.

Without a goal, it is difficult to be consistent. You need to have something to strive for in order to be motivated to be consistent.

Start with defining what you want to achieve, then break down that goal into smaller, more manageable pieces.

8: Think Long Term

Thinking short term Is detrimental to your success and growth.

When you find that friend jumping from one business idea to the next every week – they’re unsuccessful because they don’t think long term, which requires discipline and consistency.

Thinking long term and falling in love with the process is how you become successful in whatever you do.

9: Find a support group

The right Accountability partner(s) can help you hold your hands, eliminate excuses and even help you get back on track.

It could be a platform like this, working with a coach or a friend you both have the same goals.Having people to help encourage and motivate you will make it easier to stay consistent.

10: Focus on the bigger picture

No one can create your vision for you on whatever you want to be consistent at.

The bigger picture is where your eyes should always be at.

This requires bigger thinking that ‘what tactics work now’ as you need to zoom out & look at the larger picture.

11: Bonus point: Take care of yourself

If you don’t take care of yourself you’re going to burnout or lose motivation.

It’s the secret to be better prepared and disciplined to face your goals.

Your general health and self-esteem are influenced by your everyday routine.

Self-care is non-negotiable.

Learn how to start taking care of yourself in your 20s

Plan some “me time,” get lots of rest, alter your eating patterns to ones that are cleaner and healthier.

Allow yourself to feel your best again.

Become confident and persistent in your efforts and success will be yours!

9 things that makes consistency worthwhile

CONCLUSION

The biggest piece to success is just showing up consistently and doing the work even on days you don’t feel like it.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣Make sure you stick to something for a long time, at least 21 days before expecting great results.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity – Seneca.

That’s the power of being consistent. Nothing worthwhile happens overnight … Everything takes time, patience & consistency to achieve it.You start to see results pretty quickly after you take action, buckle down, and work consistently.

 

 

Categories
Personal Development

9 Ways to Help Others and Help Yourself

What can you do right away to help somebody and helping yourself?

I remember reminding a business friend of mine – “if your goal of having employees is finding people to use – you’re going to lose.”

People are smart. They need jobs to feed their families yet want to feel relevant to their workplace and world at large.

When you help others you help yourself

There’s a place and benefit in focusing on yourself but ultimately if you’re not looking to helping others you hold yourself behind.

Funny enough, people can feel when you do things for only yourself. The energy is repelling to most people who are focused on the greater good.

The reward of helping yourself when you help others is part of the ripple effect and comes with benefit which may not be obvious right away.

This is why people who are focused on “what’s in for them” get tired and frustrated when they don’t see the results immediately.

If this were a course in school – its better as a practical course not theory.

9 Ways to Help Others and Help Yourself

1: You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself

Fill your own cup first.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

When you are trying to help others, it is important to make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well.

If you do not have anything left to give, it will be difficult to help others.

2: It’s not about what you can do, it’s about what you are doing

If you think helping others is a passive and unimportant activity you only do after helping yourself.

When you put others interest at heart, then you never allow selfishness take the lead while you do things.

Your earnings will be a by product of the good work you do. While we all can never show as much unconditional to other people randomly– but we can all prioritize helping other people get closer to their goals.

3: Become the best of yourself

Why do artists and creators have raving fans?

They pour their selves into their work which feels like a part of them even to their fans.

Steve Jobs was a perfect example of pulling people into your vision with all the apple products.

You can help others by just radiating the best version of yourself through the quality of what you do and say.

4: Give more than you receive

Giving is another mindset people who want to help others have.

When we give more value we attract value which is win-win for both parties.

Have a mindset that you don’t own everything. Then you will never lose anything.

When you focus on giving, you attract more good things into your life.

5: Be Present

Your full presence and undivided attention may seem common to you …but can be worth someone finding hope in life again.

Think of a child who hates school because of being abused but continues to suffer without telling no one because he feels his parents or friends wont pay him or her attention.

Sometimes the best way to help somebody is just by being there for them.

Sometimes people need somebody to just listen to them and be a shoulder to cry on.

6: Find somebody in need

Most times we pretend the world revolves around ourselves, careers and our families.

The most rewarding way to help others and ultimately help yourself is to help someone you know is not able to fully repay you.

A little goes a long way:

  • The man on the street
  • People in prison
  • Chronic patients in hospitals

7: Be kind

Helping others is part of spreading love and kindness.

It doesn’t matter your cause or vision – if you’re not kind then you’re putting people last.

Everyone needs kindness, and the more you can do to give others a brighter future, and even just a smile or good feeling, the more it will come back to you.

If you spend your time helping others and alleviating suffering whenever possible then there is no need to prove how good of a person you are.

Sometimes the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference. A kind word or a simple act of kindness can brighten somebody’s day and make a big impact.

8: Choose Impact

There are a few people on this planet who truly enjoy their work, they are driven by a larger-than-life MISSION.

For these crazy people, impact is just as crucial as money, if not more so.

They really take joy in assisting others—not because they are unselfish, but because it makes them feel good to see someone else make progress.

9: Give them a hand up, not a hand out

It is important to help people in a way that empowers them and gives them the tools they need to help themselves. Giving them a handout may provide temporary relief, but it will not help them in the long run.

Is helping others a passion?

Helping others is one of the biggest addictions of successful people.

Behind their obsession with building things and creating solutions for themselves and the world is this desire to make life easier for one more person.

CONCLUSION 

When you help others, they are more likely to help others as well, creating a ripple effect of positivity.

 

Categories
Personal Development

Finding motivation: Why it’s never too late to pursue your dreams

It is never too late to start over

My dad retired at 70. At first I was afraid of what he’ll do with his life.

But then i realized just like @BillBergeman pointed out below – you can grow wiser and better on most things with age e.g. appreciation towards life, patience, temperament and self awareness if I may add.

If you had a chance to start over – what would you do differently?

Imagine you at 70 strong and active.

On one hand – it’s kind of scary. What would you be doing with your time?

For most people reading this – you’ll probably never retire from the things you love.

And if you get your financial literacy right – you’d be on the most rewarding part of all your investments.

The same goes with your relationships – especially your family. Your health if you’re mindful of what you put in your body plus how you move your body and your genetics.

But no one can guarantee you – you wouldn’t feel like trying something new.

In fact there are people at 25, 45, 60 that choose to venture into something for some reason or the other. No one is exempted from this feeling.

Donald Trump became a President and was sworn in at the age of 70 years and 220 days.

And if you want something badly – age is just a number.

Maybe you want to change a career? Maybe you just went through a break up or ended a relationship? Quit a job recently and want to go into something new?

11 practical tips for making a fresh start in life

1: Decide where you want to be

The first step is to understand what’s important to you, and then determine the choices and decisions that represent where you want to be.

No one can do this well enough for you.

2: Focus on where you want to be not obstacles

Focus on your desired goals, not the obstacles.

One of the biggest setback people have in starting all over – is thinking of the obstacles.

“What if I fail”

“What if I suck”

“What if they laugh at me?”

It’ll surprise you to know how many people actually go about their life without thinking about you.

Fact is no one cares. Yes, they may talk or mock you at first – but after a while people go about their businesses and problems.

3: Forgive yourself for any past mistake

Sometimes we’re stuck with past regrets especially of ourselves.

The “what if’s” and “what shouldn’t have been done.”

We pride on being hard on ourselves.

But that it doesn’t help either.

4: Take new actions in congruence with your goals

If you’re not happy with where you are in life, it’s never too late to begin again.

The only thing that can change your situation or give you a different result from where you were previously – is the action you take.

Take newer levels of actions and get newer levels of results.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

5: Surround yourself with people that move you closer to your goals

If you needed to become President at 70 – its obvious you would start being friends with as much politicians as possible.

Speak their language, understand how they think and act. It’s the same with whatever stages you at your journey now.

Practice the art of authentic networking – where you surround yourself by people you want to be like – but with one more touch that sets you apart – give more value than you receive.

6: Practice Mindfulness

What do you think contributes to bad feelings or even depression when people decide to change routes in life?

Apart from regrets and pain – it’s living in the past.

You owe it to yourself to savour every moment whatever situation you find yourself.

Journaling is a good way to become more mindful in life.

Embrace the pain when it comes and choose to use it as fuel.

7: Let go of the past

Whatever happened that you had to start all over – make effort to let go.

You can always start again, no matter how old you are or how much you’ve failed in the past.

You can’t change the past

9 – 10 years ago; all I dreamt about was wearing some white coat and doing stuff I now have zero passion for; abandoning all my hobbies.

Today am actively still trying to figure out my passions and gifts just like so many people. And in my late 20s – creating a new business and lifestyle.

To start making a change, let go of certain assumptions or ways of doing things, to make room for new ideas.

8: Don’t quit, don’t give in

It’s never too late to start again because you should never give up on your dreams.

If you have a goal that you want to achieve, don’t let anything stop you from going after it.

Sometimes posts like this make everything sound so easy? But it’s not, trust me.

When you decide to start all again – you’re going to suck. Give yourself permission to suck so you can be better with time.

A kid who’s been on the internet space and doing big things is going to make you feel intimidated if you decide to enter online business at the latter part of your life.

Unless you had been working on a skill in your spare time – most likely you’ll feel lost starting all over.

9: Get help

Most people need guidance.

At your deepest low – you may not even know you have a problem. You may just feel out of control.

It takes someone to point out your fears, limiting beliefs and help you get back on track.

10: Impact others

What would you say to your younger self?

What mistakes have you made that you wouldn’t want someone else walking your shoes to make also?

Create a blueprint others can learn from.

Every day is a new opportunity to start over.

It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, today is a new day with new possibilities.

11: Embrace Second Chances

It’s never too late to start again because you always have a second chance.

If you don’t like where you’re at in life, you can always make a change and try something new.

It’s never too late to start again because it’s a clean slate.

12: CONCLUSION

There’s no right time. You’re not too late. Sometimes you have to lose everything to gain everything.

When was the right time to plant a tree? 10 years ago. When is the next best time? Today.

You’re not too early. You’re very much on time

“Now” is always the best time to do something

 

Categories
Personal Development

You’re one right decision away from changing your life

One of the most powerful things I have learned in business and life in general is to make powerful decisions. What really small decision you consider snowballed to change your life?

Making a decision to change your life

The decisions you’ve made in the past have led to the life you’re living in the present. ⁣⁣To change where you want to be in the future, start changing the way you make decisions today. ⁣

It takes one decision to change your life.

We make a lot of decisions everyday most times unconsciously as a result of our past victories and failures, upbringing and aspirations.

Making decisions might seem like a really quick thing, and not something to really dive deep on, but it is one of the most important things you can do for your personal growth.

ONE decision can make impact in your life right now and then put you in the right trajectory for success and growth.

What are some decisions you can make right now to change your life?

1: The Power of a Single choice:

Every decision you make has an impact on your life, whether immediate or down the road. Making small, right decisions leads to a life full of good choices that compound over time.

How choices can change your life

Every moment provides an opportunity to make a new choice that can lead to a new, improved life.

You’re never stuck in a situation or circumstance unless you believe you are.

2: Prioritizing your health

I could binge on soda, fries and sugar when I didn’t know much about healthy living.

This is what is known as the Standard American Diet. Today with a single decision to improve my health, I’m more conscious of what I put in my body.

No one is immune completely from getting sick – but when it happens – the people who have more control of their lives and medical decisions are those who take personal responsibility for how and what they do with their body.

Think of the last Covid episode – according to studies, “obesity, diabetes and hypertension increases the risk of COVID-19-related mortality in young and middle-aged patients to the level of risk observed in advanced age.”

3: Associating with the right people

It took me a long time to realize the power association plays in life growth.

When I was in college, I had two friends that pushed me forward – each moment I spent time with them accelerated my growth and personal development by 10x.

Most other times, I was tempted to just go with the flow. Associating with people that had entirely different goals from where I was going only deterred my progress.

Joining NotePD has been one hell of a decision that has changed my life forever.

4: Starting a side hustle

You can tell the difference between how people think just by who has a side hustle or not.

This simple decision changes the way you think from an “employee only” mentality to both “intre-preneur” and entrepreneur.

The former is a term used when you still work for others but think like an entrepreneur.

And if you want to value your time as much as you earn, here’s an advise from a mentor in the entrepreneurship space, Scott Oldford:

“If you’re going to build a business, build the business around your life. Not the other way around. ⁣⁣Because what’s the point of hitting new revenue targets, when we’re not consistently creating a surplus of time, energy and money along the way? ⁣⁣All begins with how we make decisions with our time.”

5: What not to do

Most of us know what we want to do and make daily effort to do them. But how many of us have outlined or noted what we don’t want to do or we leave it to chance?

“There is risks in everything you decide. There is more sliding door moments then I can count I’ve had. But my biggest regrets are not from deciding wrong but from the decisions I didn’t make powerfully and I left hanging until the answer made itself up.” – Coach Melisa

Not every opportunity will provide you with the highest return on your time and effort. Those are the habits and choices we know are NOT bringing us closer to what we want.

Steve Jobs was the greatest example i know of this in the marketing and Entrepreneurship game:

He wouldn’t focus on market research and building products strictly on what customer said they wanted.⁣

“….oftentimes the most important decisions a company can make are choices about what not to do. ” – Building great brands

6: Your habits

Our habits though can seem autopilot from the tinniest habit we do like brushing our teeth to big ones like career choices but are ALL made by us.

When you choose to write everyday – then you must decide to make time for it else it can’t work.

Here are some habits to serve you better:-

  • Physical activity and Movement
  • Dissociating from the habit of anger and resentment
  • Unlearning any addiction to stress
  • Reading
  • Embrace foods that give quality nutrition and heal your body

7: Quitting Porn

Amongst so many other habits, i feel this deserves a point on its own.

There’s something about porn addiction. No one who is stuck wants to stay stuck. But then the system doesn’t make it easy for anyone. Porn is accessible in a single click in our phones and devices.

Banning it may not be a long term solution either as we all want to make our own independent choices.

From experience and testimonials of people who have changed their lives– quitting porn is a gateway to open up doors of life blessings and eliminate feeling of guilt

.Come to think of it – the energy one use in lusting after people on a screen and semen for men (we know contain life energy) can be redirected to something more meaningful.

8: Learning from failures

One thing or the other is going to go south in your life at one point or the other.

You can choose to let it slide without learning anything and make the same mistakes over and over again or learn from such events.

It takes a strong and overcoming mindset to learn from failures.

9: Working with a Coach

You find people who are willing to keeping investing on themselves until they make it and those who love to play safe until they can “afford” external help. Fact is it all depends on how badly you want change.

Books, courses are key. But working a coach can accelerate your growth. Get a mentor, trainer, coach or guide where you have challenges.

10: CONCLUSION

The pinnacle of human fulfillment comes when we’re living our ideal life by intention.

What’s important is your ability to make decisions in alignment to your vision and your core values.

Believe in yourself. Trust yourself.

Take your decisions and stick by it.

 

Categories
Lifestyle Personal Development

How to start journaling? 7 benefits of journaling

Damn. Just checked out my personal journal and its 4 days behind. How do you start journaling and make it a habit?

I would have thought I’m slipping away but then I remember I got a 130+ streak on NotePD.

Journaling is a luxury if you’re always thinking of what next to do and can’t find time to just be.

Then you got to put those thoughts and plans on paper/blank document.

Some aspect of your life of course are better kept private – that’s what I do with my personal journal. Then after refining or cutting the story to only “suspense packed” lines or just childhood stories then I allow myself to use them every now and then on public writings like this.

How to start Journaling as a Habit

1. Write Morning Pages 

This is can be a great part of your morning routine. When you wake up and still have ideas running through your head – your best bet is an early morning journal or any kind of morning writing, journaling, etc.

‘Morning Pages‘ by Julia Cameron is a specific process of 3 pages of long hand journaling.

Take the time to scramble through your journal on all the ideas you have. You could pick up something of interest.

Also if you regularly publish on a blog or social platforms like Twitter or NotePD – its a good way to gather ideas which you could further expand at the end of the day.

2. Take a Notebook everywhere you go 

These days there are pocket journals which you could take advantage of in case you want to note down any ideas that sparkle at any random time of the day.

I have a journal just like i have books at different target locations of both my home and work place.

This way i always have something to put my ideas and i can easily find them.

3. Organize your Notes on Softwares like Google Doc or Evernote

Google Doc is great as first drafts since it has a simple and non-distracting user interface and as a bonus autosaves while you write.

EverNote has this amazing search feature which is great since the app can be integrated with other reading apps like InstaPaper which save your highlights specially.

4. Journal in the Evenings

Most people have to wake up early, prepare and go to their working places in the mornings so they don’t have time for activities like Journaling.

But Evenings are also effective. In fact, more effective from my experience to write produce high quality ideas not just for your personal consumption but blogposts and Idea lists.

It could also be a great time for Gratitude journal where you look back over what happened at the end of the day and both appreciate the little things plus connect some dots.

5. Journal to Brain Storm 

Do you overthink? Do you feel stuck?

Journaling without any restrictions or filters might be a godsend when we are upset or worried about something.

The fear fades as we put our thoughts on paper.

We can go a little deeper and perhaps discover the true root of the problem.

7 things journaling can help you do

1: Keep track of your thoughts

You can journal about anything that’s on your mind, whether it’s a problem you’re trying to solve or something that’s making you happy.

The power you give to events comes from the story you tell yourself as we mostly see things as we “are” rather than how they “are.” So journaling can help you become more aware of these stories and put them in perspective.

Sometimes the right attitude is just Gratitude which you can attain more from pausing, reflecting and penning down facts.

2: Capture good ideas

When you’re listening to someone and get an idea or get an epiphany at any moment – no matter how unusual it may be – journaling is a solution to retain such ideas.

My favourite example is Richard Branson, “I don’t mind where the ideas come from as long as they make a difference.”

Check out: 10 Lessons From Richard Branson’s Autobiography: “Losing My Virginity.”

When you feel something is so good – writing down on such ideas on a journal would help you really anchor it in.

3: Know yourself more

Knowing yourself can help you trust yourself more, become more certain and develop clarity in life.

Journaling helps accelerate this process. I always start my journaling at the end of the day on what I did and what I plan to do next day.

Then I ponder on why I’m concerned about something or a particular thing bothering me.

Sometimes we all need to hit pause to process our thoughts before even narrating to other people we feel understands.

4: Store memories

Then sometimes you do re-read your past journals.

Damn. I remember breaking up with a particular lady. And when I went back to my journals all the while I was in touch with her.

Even in moments when I wasn’t sure of how I felt in the relationship – my journals showed how much pain I was enduring.

Rereading them again made me thank God for how free I had become letting go.

You can use those memories to reflect back and make changes … here’s a thought from a coach on his fitness journey:

“When I’m in a rut, I look at what I wrote in the journal during the bad days. I look at what routines I dropped. And often times, the rut is caused by something I changed that I shouldn’t have changed.”

5: Work through difficult emotions

Getting all of your worries and stressors out on paper can help relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling.

Writing down how you’re feeling can help you understand and process what you’re going through.

6: Generate ideas

Journaling can help jumpstart your creative juices by giving you a place to freely explore ideas.

The brain is indeed a powerful organ. Through routines and habits, don’t be surprised if it only what we ask of it.

If you want more ideas start asking more of it, what James Altutcher calls on NotePD “challenging your idea muscle.”

7: Write as a habit

Journaling is an outlet to make good first drafts that you can easily refine to anything.

If you don’t give yourself permission to pour out raw and fresh ideas – then how can you have time to refine such ideas.

Writing with the intention of getting better at writing not only actives your creative forces but instill them as a habit.

FINAL THOUGHTS

When did you start journaling and why did you start at the first time?

Categories
Personal Development

Why is it important to surround yourself with positive people? 9 Benefits of surrounding yourself with Positive People

Do you surround yourself with positive, life-affirming people who want the best for you? Surround yourself with positive people who will support your dreams and goals.

In life it is important to be think positively, making effort to help others and live life according to principles that are positive and uplifting

The title explains how positive thinking and surrounding yourself with positive people can lead to success.

Lets not forget, as a disclaimer, no matter how much you think or associate positively hope is not going to do nothing if you don’t put in the work.

Do you surround yourself with positive people, negative people or folks in between?

There’s a thin line between staying “neutral” around people and becoming toxic and negative to them.

This is part of the reason many people are trying to avoid “positivity” for reasons such as shying away from the truth, not being pragmatic and taking actionable steps.

I was feeling like a Champ that had studied the game and was giving the final verdict when I sent her those lines:

“I don’t think it’s going to work …I need you to zero your mind on this and take life easy.”

Instead she responded with complete positive mindset and attitude that changed my thinking and I followed up on her request the next day.

It taught me how sometimes if you don’t find positive people around you gotta be relentless and strong-hearted by yourself.

But 90% of the time – your environment matters more than your self-resilience and control.

Because the more you exercise such discipline and resilience without positive reinforcement from the environment you surround yourself with you may easily feel beat.

Why is it important to surround yourself with positive people?

Positivity opens your world beyond getting encouragement and cheers to abundance and possibilities.

I try to surround myself with a positive culture and environment daily.

For me it’s my parents, a few pastors I know personally, personas like Steve Harvey, Russell Brunson in his marketing, friends on Twitter like Dan GO, Ty and all writers here on NotePD and finally artists like Lecrae which I grew up listening to.

What’s funny is how some people appear positive outside – they’re hardworking and grinding daily – but getting close to them you find they only use work, certainty and “busyness” to distract themselves from their limited and restricted thinking.

10 benefits of surrounding yourself with positive people 

1: It rubs off on you

It only takes one or two really positive people in your life to make a big difference.

Their outlook and attitude can rub off on you and change the way you see things for the better.

Whatever energy you choose to surround yourself with whether consciously or unconsciously – rubs off on you.

Negativity breeds negativity

If you’re constantly surrounded by negative people, it can bring you down and make it harder to see the good in life.

So also with surrounding yourself with positive energy.

Positive attitude is Contagious – being around positive people can help improve your own mood and outlook.

As an advantage you’ll replace any negative thoughts with positive ones in order to keep yourself motivated to keep trying no matter what obstacles arise.

This would help you start believing in yourself even more plus many other benefits that reflects on you.

2: Positivity Breeds Success and Unlimited possibilities

Studies have shown that surrounding yourself with positive people can increase your chances for success.

Positive people are filled with abundance mindset and have a mindset filled with possibilities.

They inspire you to move from where you are now to where you want to be.

Other ways to increase your possibilities include reading the right books, meditating, having proper fitness (diet and exercise) and building and maintaining a strong positive mindset.

3: Accelerated Growth

Successful people belong to several Masterminds and Coaching which the average person may never dream of.

This is part of the big reasons behind their success as they keep challenging and supporting each other to grow faster.

Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life … If you surround yourself with Negative People.

Positive people help you challenge your limiting beliefs which restricts growth and find light even where everywhere seem dark.

4: Discover your true self

Weeding out negative people leaves room for zero need for external validation.

This is part of the reason people these days pride online on how many people they’ve blocked recently on social media.

They just get used to saying goodbye to people who don’t bring a positive energy into their lives.

If you know the people around you won’t laugh off your dreams or would always suggest good ideas for you – don’t you think you’ll keep pushing for what you really care about even you’re around them.

5: Overcome challenges

Staying positive doesn’t mean that things will always turn out ok.

Rather, it is knowing that you will be ok no matter how things turn out.

When you surround yourself with people with this kind of mentality – you’re more prepared to win in life.

6: Become Comfortable

I belong to a few Facebook groups that are specific and targeted to a particular interest.

Most times people confess they finally feel at home for such a long time in their lives.

Imagine when nothing you say would be laughed off or people wondering which planet you come from.

They just found their tribe – which is positive energy for them.

7: Keep things in perspective

An exception to the previous point – is when the supposedly “people you can relate with” are not positive about their situation.

An example is when I developed Chronic neck pain. I was just in my Sophomore year in college. When I searched it online – I found there were already some “pain” groups online. But unfortunately none gave me the positive energy I wanted to know it was possible to get back to myself.

What I found in my inbox and on those groups were always depressing statements like:

“My life is a complete mess. A year ago everything was okay, but since then things have become terrible and I’ve lost everything. It hurts so much.”

Apologies to anyone that has benefited from any of those movements online.

I found more hope and positivity with Natural health groups and personal development groups that were more concerned with things we had control over like- Diets- Exercise- Mindset.

8: Increased Confidence

Most of us forget that the most successful people are confident because they’re choose their associations.

Plus allowing themselves to fail and try a lot of things and hence do more what they’re good at.

You need to put yourself in environments that see the value of process and progress over sticking to the norm.

Here’s Adele’s album titles – 19, 21, 25, 30 and still counting; reflect the age she was when she wrote them – rather than the age she was when they were released.

I can only imagine her album titles have remained consistent like this in a simple and powerful manner because she’s confident in herself and surrounded by a non-negative record and team from the start till date.

9: Transform other’s lives

Your words and actions you is impacting someone’s life in one way or the other.

A little positivity goes a long way.

Coaching is a good example as it represents a way of investing in other people’s lives and contributing positive change as a process for others. It even applies to your writing and content.

Here’s how Lilach Bullock puts it, when we say “Content is King:”

“What sort of a king is your content? In other words, how effective are the articles, blogs and social media updates you post?A good king or queen doesn’t hold power just for the sake of it – they do so to improve the lives of their people.

To have a positive impact. To make a difference.Does your content make a difference to the lives of anyone who reads it? Does it positively affect them? Or, like a bad king, are you simply going through the motions when you’re publishing new content, putting it out there simply so you’ve got something to show your subjects?

If you’re going to publish content, it has to be strong. If you’re going to leave an impression, it has to be a positive one. That’s what separates the good brands from the bad, or rather the good kings from the incompetent ones.”

10: CONCLUSION

Start the change within you as to how you want to see the difference in the world.

Start taking action and create the positive energy to ripple effect on people that surrounds you!

Let’s spread some positive vibes!

Categories
Personal Development

How to Break the Cycle of Complaining: 7 ways to stop complaining

How can you break the cycle of complaining, why you should stop complaining & what would be its benefits?

Complaining is a habit that can make or break a person.

Most people prefer to complain about problems for days, months and years-plus than face problems head-on or go through difficult conversations aimed at solving them.

While it doesn’t serve us – we love to complain about our pain, friends, spouses, work and everything around us.

7 steps to stop Complaining as a habit

1: Take ownership

Stacking problems on your chest instead of addressing them does not serve anybody.

Neither does getting tired of addressing them and resorting to complaining. It only makes it worse.

When will millennials stop complaining and start taking ownership of their own lives?

Understand that things don’t change until we make effort to. You don’t have to tackle issues right away if you want to take time to be strategic.

But nothing beats constantly making effort to get things right rather than resorting to complaining.

In terms of solving problems – complaining is the weakest way out. And worse, is the sacrifice we undergo when we resort to complaining.

If we don’t take ownership over our life, we can’t control where we’re going.

2: Change your mindset

If you don’t see anything wrong with complaining as a habit – you make it difficult for yourself to ever drop the habit.

Understand that the right mindset to bringing change is to take action, accept those you can’t change and be optimistic about life.

Remember that friend you know to be a talkative and “Complainer.” But unfortunately, he’s the only one that never sees himself that way.

Some people think its a strength – to be known for “seeking for change” through complaining – but we know for a fact it’s a weakness.

What happens if you stop complaining for a month?

Imagine how much happier, thankful and how much you’d have achieved if you stop complaining for at least 21 days.

Tony Robbins wrote something about the benefits in his awesome book, Awaken the Giant within.

Choose today to REFUSE to complain and squander your time because as soon as you complain, you give up ownership.

3: Be patient with others

If you must stop complaining – then you must learn to be patient in life with outcomes and people around you.

When you find your employees outcome is poor compared to what you had expected – do you give up on them?

If you can’t fire them right away resorting to always complaining to people you think have figured it our is a wrong strategy.

Being patient with others is the best way to bring out the best in others and help them get the outcome you so desired.

4: Quit gossiping

Would you rather be right, or happy? Is a question to ponder to be happier and stop complaining.

When you leave your office or home to go talk bad about someone else whether physically or virtually through phone, chat etc you only escalate problems.

We forget, what we say about others eventually get to their ears. And how do you think they feel when they learn about the shit you said about them – they get disappointed in you and may want to also get even by also gossiping about you or hurting you in one way or another.

It’s a vicious cycle that doesn’t pay either party.

5: Take necessary action

While it’s important to analyse the reasons why you’re confronted with a specific problem, it’s just as important to find solutions to it.

We have two choices when things become difficult. Keep complaining and staying stuck in the same never-ending loop from hell consuming us from the inside or jump on “new and harder challenges” to not only help ourselves but also others.

People often express their desires for things to be in certain ways, as though they have no control over their circumstances. No one is telling you that you have to be trapped in a situation that you’re not happy with.

Complaining makes you limit yourself and attribute the problem to other factors.

It just takes one decision to start moving in the correct direction. If you’re reprimanded by an authority, all you need to do is to address the complaints and poor outputs they’ve pointed out.

And they continue to lead by example, start communicating better as a leader and complain less.

If you don’t take action – don’t whine about where you are in life.

6: Embrace Gratitude

Want to know how to be grateful instead of resentful? Turn your complaints into things you’re thankful for.

Appreciate how lucky you are every single day and you’ll attract more opportunities.

There are people facing real problems in life but have zero complaints.

My man, Chad says it right:

“Stop complaining that you have to solve issues. Realize the universe wants to strengthen you. Teach yourself only to bring an issue if you also can provide a potential solution to said problem.

This forces us to look at both sides of the coin. Moreover, to focus on the positive and solution developing side more than the negatives.

You would not be given a problem if you could not find the best solution to the issues at hand!”

The key is to See the positives in every situation, even if it’s hard.

7: Nobody cares about your Complaints

Most times, we make the mistake of thinking we’re “special” or our circumstances are unique.

But the truth is nobody cares how difficult your life is. Your talent means absolutely nothing without consistent effort and practice.

And Your actions speak louder than words, so hold yourself accountable.

So stop complaining about it!

Why you should stop complaining?

  • You become stuck with ideas and resort to giving excuses
  • Poor relationships and with the people we’re complaining about
  • Low level relationships with the people we’re complaining to as such relationships never amount to anything god.
  • Time wasted and poor ownership of our lives.

Here’s a story that happened between me and a friend/co-worker that changed my thinking forever on how to stop the habit of habitually complaining:

He walked up to me and said we needed to talk. He was the younger doctor serving at that time.

I was surprised because I had already been avoiding him of late. Since my boss used him as her confidant so I thought he too couldn’t be trusted.

But he was more concerned about patient health and satisfaction than work or office dramas.

Whenever she thought I was wrong – after laying it out – she looked for the nearest confidant and third party to complain to. And next I was hearing my name from someone else’s mouth.

Instead of addressing the issue head on, I would also look for the nearest listening ear which was a co-worker to whine about my boss and all the people she was talking to behind my back.

First he asked if everything was alright in private. “Is there any challenge you’re dealing with presently?”

He mentioned how he’s noticed I was avoiding confrontation with him. But more importantly the quality of the output I was giving at work. He was hearing and noticing all sorts of things.

Of course, I mentioned the poor quality relationship between me and my boss.

He advised me – “If there’s anything wrong with what she says or do – you can walk up to her and address it like an adult instead of stacking it up in your chest – or you simply take the blame and try to work things out.”

That 30 min conversation was a game-changer and something he did that I’ll forever respect him for instead of complaining.

8: CONCLUSION

The person you transform into when you drop the habit of complaining is what matters most.

Don’t complain about life if you aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to get better.

Stop living the same year complaining about how bad life is, how nothing good happens to you, how others are “lucky” to make it and then retire regretting the missed opportunities and how you didn’t have the courage to chase your dreams!

You have more influence over your future and progress.

Categories
Personal Development Entrepreneurship

How to Bet on yourself? 10 ways to bet on yourself

Would you bet on yourself?

Most successes in life don’t happen overnight.

Contrary to popular opinion the safe bet is not about making the most comfortable decisions.

Because comfort and security no matter how much you get compensated, can cost you your vision, time and freedom.

If you’re going to bet on anybody – the safest bet is always to BET ON YOURSELF!

It may not pay off right away……. and that’s why most people quit. The key is NOT to be the one to prevent you’re your own opportunity. The hardwork and sacrifice are eventually going to pay off. You are placing a bet on your future!

10 Ways to Bet on Yourself

1: Work on your mindset

Living the life you desire, begins with change within yourself⁣.

Betting on yourself starts with working on yourself i.e. mindset and personal growth.

This is a constant and never ending process and when given priority makes the process effortless.

Success happens when you grow yourself, not outgrow others.

2: Believe in yourself

Not everyone would believe in your dreams and that’s okay.

People may underrate you at times or see you below your potential.

Believe in yourself even when no one would.

Don’t let limiting beliefs and doubts get over you.

“Many people who have succeeded in various big things had a deep faith in themselves. Trust that whatever you put your mind to do would succeed”- Matt L.

3: Choose discipline over motivation

When making crucial life choices we’re all going to be faced between doing stuff only when we feel motivated vs doing it regardless. It takes betting on yourself to choose discipline over motivation.

Discipline would help you do the hard but effective things.

Your success or failure in life or at work isn’t about other people. It’s your procrastination, excuses and indiscipline.

4: Never quit

Things may not always go smoothly, but if you keep moving forward, eventually you will reach your destination.

Quitting is not an option when you bet on yourself.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes – betting on yourself helps you develop this conviction that you’ll find a way no matter how difficult the journey seems.

5: Invest in yourself

It takes investing in yourself to pour the right time, energy and resources on yourself.

For example working with the right coaches and mentors to show you the way and accelerate your growth.

Betting on yourself is not about making the right decisions independently but learning from others.

6: Take Risks

Taking risks is at the bedrock of betting on yourself. And Risk is better than regret.

Multiple offers would you bet on yourself? So take that first step. The biggest risk is NOT getting started.

If you want something you’ve never had, then you must do something you’ve never done.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with ONE step. Stop focusing on obstacles in the journey and just get MOVING.

Just thinking about what you want won’t make it happen. You need to take concrete steps towards your goal in order for it to become a reality.

Life is a gamble are you willing to bet on yourself?

Sometimes you gotta go all in and bet on yourself if you really want to change your life for the better.

7: Think positive

It’s all about believing in yourself and your capacity to succeed if you want to develop a positive mindset.

Make a list of your positive qualities. This will help you to see what you have to offer and give you the confidence to bet on yourself.

It’s critical to replace any negative thoughts with positive ones in order to keep oneself motivated to keep trying no matter what obstacles arise.

8: Follow your heart

Stay true to yourself by staying on your path regardless of other people’s approval or disapproval.

And for those who have followed the “bet on yourself mindset” how is it going? Sometimes you may need to make those tough decisions that may not make any sense to the average person: e.g. starting a new career, build your own business, quitting your job or picking a life partner etc.

In those moments – betting on yourself would help you take those tough decisions without looking back.

9: Maximize your time and energy

Not everything is worth your attention and energy.

Only by giving ourselves precious time to reflect can we grow and nurture ourselves into becoming the better people we strive to be.

As you learn to be at peace within yourself, you definitely start choosing where you spend your time and energy. How about you bet on yourself?

So, make a list that contains your goal, your level of dedication to the goal, and the steps you’re willing to take to attain it.

10: Enjoy the process

Be gentle and patient with yourself, everyday.

It’ll be more difficult to succeed if the route to obtain something becomes too tiresome.

Learning what you’re capable of may be thrilling and fun, so make your goals enjoyable in order to keep moving forward without losing perspective

What are some good ‘bet on yourself’ stories

I’ll end with a true story from my coach friend Chad Osinga:

“I was told that I had a learning disability when I was in elementary school.

Teachers called me dumb… I didn’t read at all…I was not too fond of the thought of sitting down and reading.

Many of the words were hard for me to read, and it took me what seemed forever to get through one page…So, I just avoided it..

Fast forward to the present time, and I have done a 180… I love reading!

Like, I love it so much; it is the first thing I do every morning! I can’t get enough of the knowledge and different perceptions the authors provide.

My thirst for learning and have become a sponge for helpful knowledge..

The point is – one, it is not how you start; it is how you finish.

Secondly, the things that scare us often become our most substantial assets.

I thought I was dumb I was petrified of reading and being exposed as lesser of a human.

So, as I went on this journey of personal growth, I did exactly what many of my mentors over the years have told me to do.

That is, do the hard shit first! So I picked up a book and committed to 3 pages every morning. That turned into 5…Now, I read a minimum of one chapter every morning…

I am my sharpest when I wake up, so I throw myself into a state of learning off the break.

Don’t count yourself out!

Stay in the fight. Do the hard shit.

Make those hard things your strongest Qualities.

And most of all, nothing else in this post rings true.

Please believe in one thing, and that is yourself!”

Go Kill It!

CONCLUSION

What is the lesson you’ve learned when betting on yourself when faced with adversity?

I had trouble graduating school over loss of interest. I tried so many online businesses until i scaled my Ecom. Writing was only something i liked but didn’t know how to until i built a system of writing.

I’ve learned to place faith over fear, take risks and invest in myself.

I hope after reading this piece – even in the scariest moments you’d still be willing to bet on yourself while never losing faith in God.

Categories
Personal Development

How to be more deserving of love? 9 ways to stop feeling unworthy of love

What does it mean when someone says they don’t deserve love?

Have you ever given someone a gift and instead of appreciating and simply saying thank you – they say something like “I don’t deserve this” “I feel like I’m bothering you” or worse they shy away and pretend it didn’t happen.

Sometimes we even do this unconsciously – someone compliments you for something you did great or your good looks and you catch yourself diverting their attention, changing subject by making silly statements or out rightly dismissing them – never appreciating.

What does it mean to be worthy of love?

Deserving love or feeling worthy of love here should not be mistaken for entitlement, where you feel everything should be done or given on a platter of gold – it simply means feeling you’re enough and accepting love graciously and hence attracting more love.

If this is your reality, understand this trait is not serving you and worse can make you to start repel love from others the more.

Whether it’s a romantic or non-romantic relationships, love given from a good heart is meant to be accepted and appreciated with a full heart even before you’re think of reciprocating if need be.

Few things can cause this feeling of not deserving love e.g.

  • Having trouble with self esteem
  • Not giving love enough to others yourself
  • Trauma from past hurt or ill treatment

9 ways to feel more deserving of love and attract more love

1: Change your mindset

We all deserve to be treated right and given the purest form of LOVE from everybody we meet in the universe.

Few centuries ago – slavery, racism etc were normalized. Today the human race is getting back to their senses.

Most of what you think you don’t deserve is what someone who is not broken is getting as the bare minimum.

2: Start taking care of yourself

Do we deserve love even if we don’t love ourselves? Taking care of yourself is one primary indicator that you love and cherish yourself.

I met a friend recently and she was all glowing. When I asked her what the secret was – she said she just started taking care of herself more.

Photo by Holly Pezant on Unsplash

How? She became more cautious of what she ate, exercise routines and watched her stress levels.

Key take away in taking care of yourself:

  •  Stop using junk food or feeding your mind toxic media (bad news or porn) when you don’t feel good.

Here’s more ways you can use to take care of yourself from your 20s: How to start taking care of yourself?

When you give yourself enough attention, self-love and treat yourself right – you don’t get all surprised when you find others doing the same to you.

3: Give out more Love 

Love begets love, so the more loving you are, the more likely you are to be loved in return.

Be more loving and caring yourself. This is something you can’t shy away from.

Most human relationship are exists symbiotically to function long-term.

If people and even yourself keep wondering what “you’re bringing to the table” then you’re going to feel less deserving of love from others all the more.

Then you catch yourself making statements like these:

“I can’t give you the love you deserve
“I can’t love you the way you deserve”

Showing love to others comes in various form – make it as appropriate enough to fit whatever context.

You can give your time, energy, resources etc. Check out different ways you can give without spending money on my post on why givers are attractive.

Giving of your time, energy, and resources shows that you are generous and caring, two qualities that can make someone more deserving of love.

4: Get rid of your self-doubt

Self-doubt can make you feel short in various aspects of self-confidence and acceptance.

Why would someone think they do not deserve love? Self-doubt is when we start to question ourselves, our beliefs our thoughts️ .Therefore we sabotage ourselves with negative talk like:

“you can’t do that!”

“you don’t deserve that!

If you suffer from Self-Doubt, realize you’re not alone:

Everyone of us has doubt.

You have to step forward.

Don’t let doubt prevent you from living out your dreams.

Gotta learn to believe in yourself and stop doubting yourself.

5: Get Rid of Your Insecurities:

If you don’t control your insecurities, they will drain all of your strength.

Acknowledge that your insecurities are keeping you from living the best life possible.

Insecurity is a major turn-off for most people, so work on ridding yourself of any insecurities you may have.

Work on letting go of your insecurities and reinvent yourself.

6: Eliminate inferiority complex

Sometimes we don’t just doubt ourselves but look down on ourselves. We think others are better than us.

And so when they show love to us; instead of showing appreciation we think life is unfair.

Image credit: Lagos Food Bank @Pexel

What we forget is no matter how someone’s life appears perfect outside they still struggle with various imperfections inside which they may never share outside.

Happiness is free. Gratitude and abundance and comes from the right mindset which is key to feeling good about yourself and developing intrinsic joy.

7: Practice Affirmations of self-love and acceptance

Affirmations are one of the most powerful things that exist as words shape how we see ourselves.

Best ways to stop telling yourself “i don’t deserve love” and other negative affirmations

Say to yourself:-

“I’m attracting wonderful things today”

“I love myself”

“I love my body”

“I love who I am”

“I am enough”

“I am unaffected by the judgment of others.”

“I am strong.”

“I am wanted.”

“I trust myself.”

When people compliment you- learn to say “thank you” like a child again- Use statements like “I appreciate.”

8: Practice healthy boundaries

Don’t shove your primary responsibilities to others and don’t try to pick others.

I can’t forget a story in the book “Boundaries” where some parents were complaining to the author in his practice how they keep doing everything for their son not to fall into trouble even when he does wrong.

They ended with a statement like – “our son has a problem with taking responsibility.” And the author corrected them – “No, You have a problem with taking your son’s responsibility.”

They weren’t allowing their son face the repercussions of his poor choices and so he kept doing it over and over again.

If you keep shoving your responsibility to others – you’re always going to feel entitled to their love which is entirely different from accepting love given generously from others.

9: Celebrate small victories.

Avoid believing that you are unworthy of happiness, genuine love or that you will never be successful.

If anything, you certainly deserve a reward for working on yourself.

You deserve acknowledgment for your work and commitment to turning things around in your life.

Celebrate each time you take a step toward the outcome you wish.

Revel in your successes.

Sometimes you have to be your own biggest cheerleader.

Bonus Point: Be More Supportive

Being supportive means being there for someone during the good times and the bad – it shows that you truly care about them.

You’re always going to smile when you people you were supportive of show back love to you.

CONCLUSION

Is there anyone in the world that doesnt deserve love? I wrote this post after encountering a few people who i genuinely offered love to but they always expressed and felt like they had not done enough to deserve such love.

But on the contrary – i had offered more love to some other people who appreciated without complaining.

It made me wonder why sometimes we feel we don’t deserve love from people we know care about us such as our close friends and family which could be as a result of self doubt, fear, pain etc.