Have you been wondering how to stop seeking or relaying on external validation?
The simple realization that everybody cannot like you and you cannot please everyone is a life hack.
Why because so many factors come into play on how people make such decisions and most are NOT about you.
Sometimes people judge you based on how you look, height, perceived wealth etc.
All these hardly have anything to do with your Character which is the inside-you yet so many people focus on these.
This shows that you cannot really control what people think and say about you.
If you have no immediate control over this, how much worse is it to try proving yourself to others?
How to not seek external validation? 9 reasons why you need to stop seeking external validation
- Seeking validation from others is costly in terms of time, energy, and emotional investment.
- Seeking validation from others can be dangerous to your mental and emotional health. Its a toxic habit and will only lead to disappointment.
- Seeking validation from others can impact your relationships negatively
- Seeking validation from others can lead to negative consequences like low self-esteem and anxiety.
- It’s important to validate yourself instead of looking for validation from others. Stop seeking external validation! You can find validation within yourself.
- People will always have their own opinions and you can’t please everyone, so focus on what makes you happy.
- You’re Enough: You’re never going to be fully happy until you realize you’re enough.
- It’s important to be confident in yourself and your abilities, and relying on others for validation takes away from that.
- In the end, it doesn’t matter what other people think of you–what matters is how you feel about yourself. Stop looking for validation from others!
Your need for validation from others is ruining your life.
Sometimes you gotta ask yourself, “why do i need external validation?”
The fact is that most people are struggling with the common enemy called “Ego.”
You may think their reactions and behaviours are about what they say about you but most times it’s a battle with “self.”
And they just bombard the heat to anyone that comes their way.
How to stop seeking outside validation?
You’re never going to be fully happy until you realize you’re enough.
On your own as a human being you’re enough. No money, no achievement, and most importantly no validation from any other person can make you feel more whole as you presently are.
How to stop seeking validation in relationships
Trust your Intuition on your worth.
Most times, our intuition is right about people we should flow with.
Forcing relationships or seeking attention from people just to feel loved is mostly against your guts.
We feel how wrong it is but continue only to end up in Regrets.
Conquer need for external validation. I saw recently a scene in a movie where a King insisted on marrying a particular queen from another tribe who had zero interest in him.
As a matter of fact, she saw him as a weak king and was always insisting he proved his worth and strength to her.
To cut the long story short, she never submitted to him even after marriage which eventually cost him and his brother’s life.
“The loudest person in the room is not always the smartest.”
What we don’t realize is most people that feel totally unsure of themselves– are too proud to show any self-doubt.
That’s why people way smarter than you may be trying to seek your validation just to feel a little confident even though the opposite is true.
How to overcome need for validation?
Most times, we want to gain their love, respect, acceptance and support.
Which sounds good on the surface – but the fact is most people operate out of a “transactional mindset” including in the aspect of love and judge a book by its cover.
Sometimes we want to belong to their “class.” If only we know that the “class” they built was only made of walls of ego; that are destined to crash.
how to stay where you are:
get addicted to validation
So if you don’t have or are willing to give everything they demand – your efforts would be in vain.
And for the most part of seeking external validation, it’s usually more of the former and you’re left helpless.
If anything – we lose time, respect and energy trying to please others.
I’ll end in the words of one of my favourite Rapper – Lecrae:
“If you live for their acceptance
You’ll die from their Rejection
I got attracted to tech from an early age getting close to my Father. Coupled with learning some high end skills i was able to build a 6 figure Ecommerce store a few years ago after graduating from Pharmacy.
The only way I have found to express myself as an introvert is through writing.
I’m convinced 100% that to build a 6-7-figure business and beyond you need to invest in yourself and your personal development.
The more you grow, the more your business will grow.
PS: I wrote a short book on why you don’t need more motivation and how to push through in such moments – get it here: