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Personal Development

Unlock Your Full Potential: 8 Powerful Strategies to Choose Purpose Over Pleasure

What role does pleasure play in our lives as compared to our purpose? And how much does too much of it drift you away from your purpose.

There’s an association between pain and pleasure.

Dopamine (craving molecule) was created to help us seek things that are beneficial for us in the long term and give us pleasure in the short term.

Purpose over pleasure meaning

At a certain age in life – it makes sense to prioritize purpose over pleasure.

When people get addicted to any pleasure – even the usual day-day activities or responsibilities now feel like more pain.

The brain moves to quench this pain with as much pleasure as it can find.

It’s easy to default to the nearest source of pleasure when things get rough or difficult.

Think of a kid binging on a video games so he can pretend to forget his difficult homework.

Then the extremes like seeking random low-commitment but sexually rewarding relationships to hold on to when having hard times with long-term relationships.

Why pleasure is important

Pleasure has its its place!

We can’t underplay the importance of pleasure in crucial life events such as sex and reproduction, food and satiation and the reward pathway of general life events.

But how much pleasure is enough?

8 ways to prioritize living with purpose over pleasure

1: Make your purpose your primary drive

You fall into trouble whenever there’s a confusion between which is driving you – purpose or pleasure.

The latter is a bad master but good slave.

Even if you haven’t yet “found your purpose” – make sure your actions align with your highest priorities.

There’s a quote “Men without purpose seek fulfillment by chasing pleasure. And with a life towards you purpose, can make a plan.

What are your goals? What steps do you need to take to achieve them

When you have a plan, it’s easier to stay focused on your goals and resist the temptation to veer off course.

It is not enough to simply have a plan – you must also take action and put your plan into motion.

2: Do hard things

Successful people do the things that failures don’t want to do. They focus on their long term goals over instant pleasure.

One of the biggest distractions we face in life is avoiding pain.

We know pushing through and engaging in challenges plus going the extra mile is hard.

Think of feeling stuck, and allowing the dreaded procrastination take over.

We look for the closest distraction in form of pleasure to hide from pain.

The secret in choosing to do the hard things when necessary makes life in the future easier.

Life is suffering and many people pursue the fast life:

-porn
-drugs
-stealing
-cheating

In order for you to overcome the pain of life, you must find a larger-than-life dream to devote yourself to. – Vikash

3: Work when you work

One of the most powerful principle I learned in productivity is to work when you work and play when you play.

This is the price worth paying to steer towards your purpose. Doing both at the same time is a sacrifice of achieving excellence that’s not worth it.

4: Create a Healthy Balance of Pleasure and Pain by Setting Limits

Your life’s purpose absolutely includes joy and pleasure … a life without any form of pleasure is not just dull but is devoid of hope.

Think of an intimate relationship without physical contact or sex.

But without setting limits, we hit our dopamine peak and cause it to reset to a higher point.

So with time, you need higher stimulation to meet the same need or reward.

The healthy balance is knowing when “its enough” in whatever you’re trying to build as against chasing empty wind.

Only then can you give yourself permission to do things just for the fun of it.

5: Create Accountability and Find a Role model

Having accountability is a sure way to get closer to your purpose.

And they can tell you when you’re drifting away from your goals e.g. a Coach, Family or close Friends.

Also, who are you looking up to? If you’re struggling to prioritize living with purpose, it can be helpful to find a role model.

One who is living the life you want to live can be a great source of inspiration and motivation.

So its easier to see what’s possible for you

6: Live in the present moment

It’s easy to get caught up in the past or the future, but the only moment you have is now.

Learn to appreciate the present moment and live in it as much as possible.

Intentionally bring focus to everything you do with an accepting nature.

Find joy in the simple pleasures.

7: No one is coming to save you

The last time I felt like shit as a result of indulgences – i remembered there was no one that felt the shame, disgust and hurt but myself alone.

The media and everybody promote pleasure as both a sales and entertainment technique, but the effects of being overstimulated are faced alone.

The ultimate enemy is the pain of drowning in pleasure while starving for purpose.

8: Think Long term

Chasing random pleasure is short-term.

Short term pleasure nearly always results in long term suffering.⁣

The ability to choose long term goals over the short term pleasure is a life hack.

 

 

 

Categories
Lifestyle Personal Development

7 things I found that gives a sense of purpose and meaning

One way to motivate yourself to do anything is to develop a sense of purpose and meaning. What is something you do that adds meaning and purpose to your life?

No one wants to go through life feeling empty.

Defining your purpose is the first step to gaining clarity in life.

A sense of purpose meaning

It is referred to as “ikigai” in Japan. It alludes to the practice of establishing a specific aim each morning.

This is any thing you do or engage in that gives you a sense of fulfillment and joy.

It is part of our spiritual needs amongst other things like authentic self expression, time in nature, safe connections, finding true love etc.

Daily sense of purpose leads to wellbeing and, according to study, is also a factor in lifespan.

What gives you a sense of purpose?

In my early teens, I found meaning and purpose through music, pursuing goals and entrepreneurship.

I’ve grown and evolved; some are still part of the list but now in different priorities: Family, health, quality relationships, nurturing my soul, setting goals & accomplishments and overcoming obstacles give me the most meaning and purpose today.

How do you find purpose and meaning for your life?

7 things I found that gives a sense of meaning and purpose:

1. Family

In today’s hustle culture we attribute “success” to doing well in career and finances.

But it doesn’t just have to be related to money; success is also found in how well you’ve created and nurtured strong relationships and been of value to others in your family and community.

I was unhappy the most when I didn’t accept and prioritize the unconditional love my family gave to me.

It made me hold a lot of grudges at such period against my parents particularly my Dad. I felt he didn’t do “enough.”

But frankly, he’s been himself and would always do his best to his abilities and knowledge.

Put your family first

Success is spending time with family.

You didn’t succeed if you were grinding away at work for years, with your head down, to buy a big house and obtain an important job title only to look up and find your friends and family missing or left behind.

Design your life around your business, family & hobbies if you want to live life on your own terms and achieve freedom.

Can your family hold you back?

Sometimes, we struggle with unstable families and personal relationships. Fact is You don’t choose the family you’re born into. But you do choose the family you create.

Too often we battle with family members telling us what we should be doing or not doing especially in terms of taking risks – but realize that this is out of love.

And they don’t have to agree with your ideas or vision.

You may feel the whole world is against you… but you can decide to move to a different environment and grow into the person that you want to become.

Or still, you can disappear for 6 months, change your circle and transform your life.

2. Good health

I don’t have a “perfect health”, but you value your health the most when you lose it.

One of my mission in life is to help people especially entrepreneurs like me stay healthy doing what they love.

Your health is closely related to your lifestyle choices and you take control of your health through better lifestyle choices.

Each little habit is a vote for or against your health. It all adds up in the end.

Health is the greatest wealth

When you rethink fortune wealth is also found in good health, mental health/clarity, self care.

The goal is to become financially stable without neglecting your health

Take personal responsibility for your health

The sooner you realize that your health is a personal responsibility, the better. You can start with studying nutrition books and journals and implement what works for you.

Most times, you can’t explain randomly how broken our food & health system is – until people study for themselves.

Largely because of how much media they consume and have been made to believe. Studying seems to be a solution.

Health affects everything

Health, just like wealth is something that affects everybody we like it or not.

The goal is to move from being insecure and unconfident about your body & health to being confident and spending each day with mental clarity working toward your goals. ⁣

The saying is true, “Success in one thing leads to success in others.” For Example: 

Success in your health leads to –> success in your relationships –> Wealth ⁣

3. Quality relationships 

It involves connecting with others and forming deep, meaningful relationships with the most important people in your life.

It’s beyond sexual relationships to how much deep and quality relationship  you have.

Are all your friends “acquaintances” that would run away immediately they get what they need from you.

I can tell you no matter how much money you make – you still judge the quality of your life by the quality of relationships you have.

Success is something you attract by the person you become.

It applies also to relationships and business: The partner you attract, clients you work with are often a reflection of yourself.

Ditch limiting beliefs, raise your standards.

Do a reciprocity audit in your relationships

You can’t make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate.

In business, develop close and enduring Relationships (to Employees & customers). Ditch Relationships that no longer serve your vision.

Harsh truth, some relationships are seasonal, some will likely last for a lifetime… but all have shaped me to become a better person.

Have healthy boundaries

Lack of boundaries in your relationships can make others irresponsible but happy and leave you miserable and responsible.

You don’t need people who can’t adhere to any boundaries or healthy relationship rules at all.

I once saw this quote on how relationships work:

“Chemistry gets it started
Similar value keeps it going
Shared vision makes it last”

I’ll add “Minimum effort destroys it all.” Got to keep making emotional deposits else your account goes dry.

4. Service

If you want more purpose in life, focus on service to others. I’m an introvert; I can tell you how much I love my own company.

But no lies, I find myself the most every time I lose myself to something greater than myself.

How do you put service to others into action

Focus in impacting the lives of others.

The world needs people who want to make a positive impact now more than ever.

You don’t need to be an “Expert.” You just need to be a chapter ahead!

Russell Brunson hit the nail on the head in “Expert Secrets” –

“You don’t have to be the most knowledgeable person in the world on your topic, you just have to be one chapter ahead of the people you’re helping..”

The first impact I made on others, was teaching other kids like me. No I wasn’t the smartest. First I was amongst the those that couldn’t catch things fast.

Then I stumbled into Entrepreneurship; it made me take more responsibilities and I’m still learning.

If you wake up every day and try to be as impactful as possible you will always win.

Even if you just manage to have an impact on one person that is a huge achievement. And the more you try and be impactful the more lives you will change.

5. Your Soul – faith & hope.

I believe without nurturing our souls we lose purpose and direction in life. It encompasses our Relationship with God, faith and love for him and others around us.

Lately I’m beginning to notice the level of my happiness is indirectly proportional to how much I feel hopeless.

Your Soul is Priceless 

Our souls are among the most priceless things we have to know our purpose

Some habits decrease hope and faith:

  • Doing things that go against our values
  • Engaging in habits that directly tarnish our souls
  • Speaking words that do not edify our souls
  • Confessing negative (plus spreading negativity)
  • Blaming others for our problems (as against taking responsibility)
  • Playing reactive as against being proactive.

“Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night.” – Knight’s tale.

6. Setting goals and a sense of accomplishment

Setting goals and working towards them, no matter how small or large gives us a sense of purpose.

Can you remember your first sale or dollar online?

When you crush said yes?

Seeing the numbers of your successful company a year or two after

Accomplishing that goal you’ve been dreaming of.

7. Overcoming obstacles can give us a sense of purpose

Overcoming difficulties can be empowering and give you strength to face other challenges. It is the reason people are more confident when they get more competent in life.

Overcoming obstacles gives us a sense of meaning, joy and fulfillment.

Everybody goes through these challenges and obstacles, but those who succeed are the ones who fight through it and stay persistent.⁣⁣

You’ve got to get out of your own way:

  • Challenge your inner critic
  • Add up to your level of expertise by increasing your knowledge in both learning and action.
  • Stay positive: It’s critical to replace any negative thoughts with positive ones in order to keep oneself motivated to keep trying no matter what obstacles arise.

CONCLUSION

If you feel stuck then there is ONLY ONE way to get out and live the life you’re dreaming about… You need to find your purpose and get clear about the next steps in your life.

Life gets dull when we live too easily, when we live without challenges. It is the challenges that help us grow and keep us lively.

So we should consider the problems and challenges as motivators for moving forward in life. Without challenges, we become complacent, life becomes boring and purposeless.

You are responsible to do what brings you a sense of happiness, purpose, and meaning.

Categories
Personal Development Entrepreneurship Lifestyle

Why you need to build a strong Foundation for success

The best way to maintain success is on a Solid foundation.

Too many times in a bid to succeed with others we’re tempted to skip the process.

This process may be different for each of us as our “learning phase” may differ.

Mastering the fundamentals

Amateurs skip the fundamentals in a bid to focus on the “big stuff.”
Professionals have expertise primarily because they have hold of the “small stuff”

If you want to become good at anything; take time to master the fundamentals not just once but deliberately return to it.

I found more examples of this difference between Amateurs and professionals from a tweet from Sahil Bloom; a few of them include:

“Amateurs love the prize, Professionals love the process.

Amateurs blame others, Professionals are accountable

Amateurs fear being wrong, Professionals enjoy it.

Amateurs hope for good breaks, Professionals create them.

Amateurs enter the arena with their fingers crossed. Professionals enter the arena with a plan.

Amateurs are a part of their environment, Professionals are the master of it.

Amateurs attribute success to skill and failure to luck, Professionals understand the role of both.

Amateurs fear incompetence, Professionals own it.

Amateurs fear failure, Professionals embrace it

Amateurs make it look effortful, Professionals make it look effortless via practice.

Amateurs are flashy, Professionals are relentless.

Amateurs are patient with actions and impatient with results. Professionals are impatient with actions and patient with results

Amateurs act quickly, Professionals act methodically.

Amateurs let the day come to them, Professionals have a routine.

Amateurs try to be good at everything. Professionals identify their unique edge and exploit it. 

The fundamentals become responsible for majority of your success.

What is a solid foundation for success?

A solid foundation has a purpose (your why), character and values, is patient (long term), has a plan (vision), competence and is still flexible enough.

To always take time to do things right should be your goal.

“Measure twice. Cut once”

If it matters to you can always create time for it. Everyone’s situation is different but we figure out how to get it done if we really want to get it done.

Flexibility 

Be flexible enough so you can embrace change as change is the only thing constant.

Your values cannot align with every opportunity that comes your way.

Saying No 

You have to be comfortable with saying no to interesting opportunities that does not align with your purpose and values.

Make plans

if you don’t have a plan for yourself you become part of someone else’s plan on achieving their dreams.

Competence 

Experience is the best teacher. But smart people also invest the time to learn from others experience.

Have a Vision

Where do you want to be in five years’ time? You can create a vision board to keep you focused.

Are you leaning on the Right wall?

Steve Covey proposed a remarkable idea on making sure you’re leaning on the right wall.

Imagine a kid who cheats his way to study a “professional” course. How much meaning and fulfillment would it provide him compared to one that took his time to burn candles to study?

At whatever you do, if you have no solid foundation in getting to the top, you won’t find it funny when you fall.

Enjoy the process

Life has its ups and downs.

The key is to “enjoy the process” which might not be as smooth as you expected but you can still learn a whole lot from it if you take time to reflect on it.

It’s okay to fail.

No matter how many times you fail, keep going.

Getting to the root of problems

The key to preventing and addressing problems more permanently is to tackle them from their roots.

Why do problems take more time to solve and cause more damage? When we only address “symptoms” and avoid tackling problems from their roots.

Sometimes we make the mistake of ignoring them completely thinking they’ll go away. But they hardly do.

Getting to the root of problems also has to do with minimizing assumptions.

Quit toxic habits 

Quit any toxic habit that isn’t adding value to your life such as porn.

Quitting isn’t a cure all for your life problems – but it’s the foundation, a ploughed field in which you can sow seeds for a new future that isn’t bedevilled by the secrecy and shame that comes with falling into the seemingly inescapable pit of porn-related despair that so many of us know.

A life of hope and strength – not jizzy tissues, jealousy, bitterness, self-hatred, resentment and unfulfilled dreams. – Anonymous (Your Brain on Porn)

Avoid the Faulty foundation

If you can’t defend it, you don’t know it.  No matter how far you go, at one point or another, you’ll need to defend any role or title you play or own.

At such point those that fail the most, quit or cannot get back up are people with faulty foundations.

Be willing to undergo mental and physical transformation

To win physically you have to win mentally.

It doesn’t matter if its losing weight, becoming financially free, learning a skill; you need to deal with the things going on in your heart and head else you’re going to stay stuck.

Categories
Personal Development Entrepreneurship

How to find your purpose: 4 steps to finding your purpose in life

How did you find your purpose or are you still seeking it?

To some people, it’s easy to talk about purpose, vision, mission etc; while to some of us it’s been doing what works best and even striving to be a little better every day without too much thinking of what the future looks like.

Whatever it is for you presently – finding your purpose is something everyone will eventually find time to ponder. 

Unfortunately, to many people it happens more on their death bed.

“How much of my life did I commit to what’s truly important and meaningful to me?”

As you can guess, it takes a little effort; time and reflections to know what you’re actually good at and focusing on it.

But we know its not as easy as can be said;

1) Our interest changes over time – You can start out with a particular course, die hard loyal to an interest; life event happens – you could decide to pursue another interest.

2) Talents vs work – some of us are very talented in particular fields, some less talented – yet we might find ourselves in the same work or field despite our degree of talents.

To add salt to the injury; you might find someone worse than you heading you, or making more money than you.

With all these challenges, mentioned; it’s NOT an excuse to work on ourselves.

How to find your purpose in life?

1. Start with why

There is ONLY ONE way to escape a situation where you feel stuck and lead the life you’ve always wanted.

Starting with your why is the key to running your business or career from a heartfelt space from love, joy, passion, purpose, fulfilment, and true alignment.

Wakeup with intention and purpose to create the life you want, then go make it a reality ✨️

2. Help or serve others

When you find purpose in serving people, as a byproduct, you will live an incredibly fulfilled life.⁣

Why focus on serving others? 

As a guide, which is where I’m driving at – the more you commit to service and helping others; the easier this path is going to be for you.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬” – 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐡𝐢.

It does not mean being a “Yes-man” or engaging in stuff you hate just to please others.

Its finding that thing you can do that seems like play to you but perceived as WORK to others.

For me it’s through Entrepreneurship, helping others stay healthy through simple lifestyle choices, habits and helping others reach their full potential by being the best of their selves daily.

Here’s how a Coach and Mentor, Luka put it:

Money is a reflection of how many people you are serving and how well you do that⁣⁣.

Money is a reflection of the amount of lives you are IMPACTING.⁣

Adopting this view has not only helped me create more fulfillment & find more meaning in what I do..⁣⁣⁣⁣

3. Experiment 

You choose your own purpose based on what makes you happy (not necessarily comfortable).

Till you know what to decide, experiment.

Take in new hobbies, search what exists in the world, close your eyes, imagine doing it and see how it makes you feel.

To most of us; we might need to do a whole lot of shit, try different paths, execute several ideas, before finding that path which actually gives us life the most.

Here are some questions to ponder about right now;

1. What do I feel inspired by? Follow your joy. Its where ur purpose is.

2. What am I particularly talented at?

Ask yourself  what you’ll do if you won a million dollars – what you feel in your heart calls to you.

That way you find something you’re passionate about. Combining passion with what you’re interested in and also choose to do – makes a great choice!

3. What needs significant change in the world?

4. Build a Strong Mindset

Decide, believe, take action, and achieve anything you want, because you can.

Whether you feel you have a purpose or not, realize that no one is coming to save you!

Make a decision that you’re going to change your life completely and stick to it.

Why you should find your purpose

  1. Get clear on some form of direction you want to go in.
  2. Build trust in yourself and that you are worthy enough, so that you get more out of life.

Once you start finding yourself; its time to start living more intentional.

What is the quickest way to find your purpose in life?

Your purpose in life isn’t just gonna manifest out of thin air

You need to find your purpose and get clear about the next steps in your life.

  1. Set an Aim
  2. Make a Plan
  3. Find your purpose and live in it

Go after it every single day.