Why you shouldn’t compare yourself with others?

Life is hard.

But when we compare ourselves with others we make it harder.

According to Steve Covey, comparing yourself with others is amongst the five (5) “metastasizing cancers” with other traits such as Complaining, Criticizing, Competing and Contending.

Why because it’s not just a problem at the moment; it gets bigger and cause more damage with time.

There’s a Hokkien proverb that says – “zou lan hum hum jiu hou.” It means do not compare yourself too much. Stay humble. Admit mistakes.

To become happier quit comparing yourself with others.

When we compare ourselves with others we think they have better, happier lives than we do.

But the truth is we’re more likely to only see the glamour, fame, smiles of others because that’s what’s attractive and is usually the aspects people love to share but what we don’t see is on the other side which is not so attractive.

You don’t see the pain, weakness, struggle they go through in private which can be the reason for how they act outside.

Don’t take my word for it, studies have shown people who spend the most time on social media are less happy than people who don’t.

And the reason for this unhappiness has been attributed to unhealthy comparison.

Your journey is unique

We are all a little different. Each of us at any point in life is going through a unique journey in life and has different paths.

Some paths would be smoother while others rougher but that’s just the way it is and does not in any way mean superiority over another

All fingers are not equal

Think of the hand in a human body; five fingers – yet all are not equal.

We can all agree based on their function; they never needed to be equal. They’re different sizes yet work together to give result.

It’s always you vs You

Every day, if there’s anyone you should be comparing yourself with is who you were yesterday.

Think of all the virtues you struggle with the most; for me its patience, my countenance and obsession with self.

A year from now; would you be any better or worse?

Think of your daily grind in your work, relationships habits; can you say you’ve any better than how you were a year ago.

The Covid period was one of the most trying periods in human history; lots of people lost their jobs, loved ones, freedom and businesses.

Yet a lot of startups where born during the same period.

Is there any time comparing one’s self with others is good?

With a good level of self-awareness and only using it as a motivation; comparing yourself can be seen as a “healthy competition.”

“If ‘A’ can do this…I also can.
A doesn’t have two heads; so with some focus, patience and hardwork, I can also achieve that.”

But that’s where it stops “healthy competition.”

So long as you don’t’ feel envy or jealousy in your heart. It can also sharpen your intellect and teach you what and what not to do.

Beyond that; comparing yourself with others becomes toxic.

Fact is no matter how good you are at anything; there’ll always be somebody somewhere who is or striving desperately to be better than you.

So why compare yourself with others?

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