How to find your authentic self

How can you be your own authentic self?

What would happen if your favourite artist or biggest thought leader decide he/she isn’t willing to pursue anymore what you know them for?

He/she feels all this while they were “preaching to the choir” so decide to either “water down” or “spice up” their message.

It may sound understandable to them but 9/10 their diehard fans would be facing their own crisis.

Think of when a successful Entrepreneur decides to sell his company or when an artist decide to change genre, or one known for their religion decides to either drop or follow another.

The same mentor you always quoted and referenced now reminding you they’re not your “SAVIOUR.”

I think just like Seth Godin would say – “Authenticity is overrated!”

All these have happened to me while following different so-called thought leaders. Their messages change with where they are presently and their understanding of the world.

If there’s any reason to prioritize authenticity – then we should do so in line with PRINCIPLES that don’t change.

Because I can guarantee you what you call your “Authentic self” might make you cringe 5 years from now.

And on a lighter note – if you’re working in a bank – your boss wouldn’t want to find you any day on the latest torn jeans to work because that’s how you feel “authentically” about yourself.

9 Steps to Finding Your Authentic Self:

A simple and effective guide to help you on your journey.

1: Love yourself

Accepting and loving yourself is the first step to authenticity. Self-acceptance is a crucial step to finding your authentic self.

If you hate your body and go to the gym but attach your identity and self-worth to the gym– the day you don’t see gains anymore or hit a plateau – then your identity is CRUSHED.

2: Get to know yourself

Find and create time to get in touch with your innermost being. Spend time alone exploring your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Pay attention to what makes you feel most alive.

This is how people change course and feel they’re making the right move. And also why some people stay the same for donkey years and hate themselves.

Ryan Holiday talked about how he always hated going to the office but he needed to do “work” – write, take client calls, etc. Until he separated and eliminated the need to go to an office from doing big things which he felt called to – he never found peace.

I feel this is the stage I am right now.

3: Do You

Get used to being to being comfortable in your own skin. Stop following the crowd or trying to fit in.

In as much as we are all striving to step out of our comfort zones – we all have a style and something unique within us.

E.g. if you deny yourself from everything you love or know – just so you can fit in with other people’s standards – you’re in for some future emptiness and regrets no matter what you accomplish.

Ditch the forced way of life and start authentically doing your thing! This is how winning on social media works too – being your authentic self, sharing stories, sharing lessons you learned and sharing from your real experience.

4: Be consistent!

In terms of showing up – consistency beats authenticity. Its key to nurturing your authentic self.

Nothing brings out your A-game than showing up authentically on a daily basis.

Do I like spending an hour or two trying to hit a topic? Nahh. But i feel its worth it to become better at my craft.

5: Believe in yourself

Believing in yourself is key to conquering self-doubt and fears necessary to living your authentic self.

Live a life that is in line with what you believe in and what feels right for you.

Here’s how a Coach friend, Tanner puts it when he faced opposition from family and friends starting a business:

When you start, NOBODY is going to care or support you USUALLY, that’s just how it is. You must get over it, you must accept that, and you must know this is a journey you must take on your own.

Sometimes people will tell me that I “have a strong mindset.” Honestly I don’t know if that’s true.

All I really do is write down what my goal is, reverse engineer what needs to be done and then block out anyone or anything that tells me no.

6: Choose yourself

I fell in love with this phrase I after read “Choose Yourself” by James.

Sometimes, when I’m about to make an emotional decision or impress others – I ask myself:

“Am I choosing myself” here? If the answer is NO, then i have to take a rethink.

I can’t help but think of Greg in Essentialism leaving his about to deliver pregnant wife to attend an office meeting.

And someone reminded him and asked why he was away from his family at such crucial time. He had lost priorities by not choosing himself.

7: Listen to your guts

Your guts is also known as your second brain. Learning to listen to your guts is the key to authentically express your true heart desires.

Trust your intuition and let it guide you towards the things that are truly important to you.

8: Develop Integrity

Authenticity works hand in hand with “hard-truth” and integrity.

Integrity is a flex in a world that is filled with fake-it-till-you-make-it lifestyles.

9: Give your best shot

Start doing everything you wish to do like it were a CALLING. If you give less than yourself at any point – you’re always going to wish you did better or feel less than you deserve.

Don’t be afraid to be different or to stand up for what you believe in.

What is a subtle sign you’re not being your true authentic self?

I like this tweet from Lewist H. that best describes this:


It’s tempting to portray yourself as something that you’re not.. Perhaps you want to fit in or to land a job. But eventually the truth will come out, and if you engaged under false pretenses, your credibility will be ruined.

Numerous people go about pretending to be someone they’re not.

This leads to unhappy relationships, inner conflict and bad decisions.

It’s not your job to get people to like you.

It’s your job to be your authentic self knowing the right people wouldn’t want you any other way.

Being your authentic self is the best gift to yourself.

4 thoughts on “How to find your authentic self”

  1. Yessssss!!!!!! These are good tips to discover your inner beauty. I like tip no.8 the most. I strongly believe in integrity. It’s the most important key in life.

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